Shin Megami Tensei: Persona 5 Stray Thoughts: Characters

Shin Megami Tensei: Persona 5 is pretty awesome, and as you may have noticed, I have a lot of thoughts about it.  Thus far I've been sharing the more developed ones, but there are plenty of little minor reactions to and considerations of the game that I had as I played, and "lucky" for all of you, I basically used poor Ecclesiastes as a notebook/cruelly abused test subject for all these stray thoughts as I played, so I've still got pretty much all my notions and perceptions, clever or distinctly otherwise, on hand to share.  And share we're going to--more than once, in fact, because there's way more of these things than can or should reasonably fit into a single rant.  So for today, we're doing a themed Stray Thoughts rant, about the characters of Shin Megami Tensei: Persona 5!



THE HOMIES

- I like the fact that Ren actually has something of a character in this game.  I mean, sure, the guy suffers the same stunted growth as a human being that all silent protagonists do, and obviously shouldn’t be one.  That’s pretty standard.  But there are a few moments, here and there, where Ren betrays a humanity that Yu, Makoto, and Kotone lacked, like when he has a little ‘Nam flashback at hearing Shido’s voice at the hotel elevator, and these moments make him feel a hell of a lot more real.

I don’t know why game developers think that blank slate silent protagonists are somehow more easily relatable or help immerse the audience in spite of literal thousands of years of cultural evidence to the contrary.  I like the fact that Ren’s internal monologue occasionally betrays character depth!  Like, whilst Morgana's pulling his little running-away-from-home stint, if you sit on Ren's thinkin' couch, he'll thought-bubble, "Why didn't I notice something was bothering Morgana?" That's a simple and normal thought for a character to have, but the fact that the silent and aloof Persona protagonist is having this regretful self-critique somehow just means volumes to me.  SMTP3’s Makoto might be able to just barely manage to make the aloof silent protagonist thing work thanks to his symbolic role as a Messiah figure reinforcing his position as The Fool, but similar mild, subtle characterization certainly wouldn’t have hurt him at all.  And Yu needed it.


- For the record, I tried very hard not to burst out laughing when I saw what Makoto's evolved Persona looked like.


- I did not extend that same courtesy to Akechi's Phantom Thief outfit.  The man looks like a mosquito decided he wanted to lead a marching band during Mardi Gras.


- You know what?  Seeing Yoshizawa catch that kid’s balloon during her initial Social Link scene was a dozen times more cool and impressive an introduction to her skills than that entire try-hard, embarrassingly over-the-top fight sequence that we see in the game’s opening.  Seriously, creators, it’s not the 1970s any more, the world has grown past thinking that effortlessly beating a handful of hench-goons is some impressive feat.  This chick just leapt 8 feet straight up and had the casual gall to tell Ren that it was just a simple acrobatics maneuver that anyone could do!  Atlus’s writers really assume I’m gonna pump my fist and gasp in delighted shock that half a dozen literally faceless minions got their asses kicked, but then just brush off the fact that this high school freshman is actually a Super Mario?


- Why do the others give Ryuji shit for not bringing enough stuff with him for the Hawaii vacation, when the backpack he’s carrying is larger than any of their suitcases?


- Let's be honest, most of the designs for the team's individual Personas are pretty bad...but MAN, Haru's second one is just something else.  All the goofy abstracts you've encountered before it can't quite prepare you for the moment you realize that Haru's new, upgraded Persona is some croissant-headed chick stuck to a Mexican candy skull.

When I saw it, I actually began second-guessing my decision to choose Haru to be Ren's girlfriend, just based on how incredibly stupid her Persona was.  Makoto, Hifumi, Yoshizawa, hell, I even momentarily considered Futaba as an alternative paramour, just so Ren wouldn't have to go to Persona-User parties and be like, "Yeah my arm candy tonight's the actual fucking candy."


- Speaking of, I am both delighted, and utterly repulsed, to announce that after over a decade of searching, I have finally found the perfect, iconic poster couple for Since We're Not Related It'll Be Okay Syndrome.  So thank you and fuck you, Persona 5, in equal measure, for allowing Ren to romance Futaba, the girl that Ren even outright acknowledges in 1 scene (a meetup with Iwai) is, and I quote, "Basically my sister."  Jesus Christ, I am somehow way, way more comfortable with Fire Emblem obsessing over actual, biological siblings fucking than I am with what's possible in this game.

And as if her social and emotional dependence on Ren precluding them from ever being peers and thus creating an inherent power dynamic between them that's extremely unhealthy for a romantic relationship wasn't enough...I love the fact that Sojiro, their shared adoptive father, outright and in no uncertain terms requests that Ren avoid hooking up with Futaba.  That's about as close to a cry for help to the tune of "Corporate forced us to make your sister a romance option, we didn't want to do it, WE know it's icky, too, it's not our fault we swear!" as you're likely to find from a group of writers.



THE LINKS

- Much though I do like the man, I really hope Persona 5 didn’t actually want me to take Sojiro’s posturing and attempts to talk big about being a ladies’ man seriously.  I mean, my God, man, look at yourself.  You’re out here bitching about the notion of having a man in your passenger seat when your idea of an out-on-the-town outfit is what a 90s direct-to-VHS movie would’ve dressed a pimp in as a joke.  Yeah, I’m sure you’re just fucking slaying pussy all day long, Sojiro, dressed like you’re just getting off the ferry from Nantucket in your search for a worthy croquet rival.  No doubt the ladies are just stacking themselves like a fucking Jenga tower on that passenger seat normally.

I really wanted a scene following this implication of how much action Sojiro’s getting with passenger-seat floozies, where Ren opens the door of the car and a cascade of dust comes pouring out, like the cocaine from Joey’s car in that 1 scene from Mafia.  I wanted Ren to sit down, realize something felt off, look down, and see Indiana Jones hunched down under the floor mat, searching for long-lost artifacts.


- “There are two possibilities: either you’ve simply been trying to confuse me with your lies...
...Or everything you’ve stated is true.”

Very good, Sae!  Yes, you’re right, that IS the case with literally everything anyone says, ever!

Man, I just can’t imagine how mobsters like Kaneshiro have managed to evade the law when we’ve got sharp, insightful prosecutors like Sae protecting Japan.


- By the time of the school trip to Hawaii, Mishima's obsession with the Phantom Thieves has reached a point at which Ren's having to room with him feels unsafe.  It's like, Jesus, dude, just hurry up, cut off a lock of Ren's hair, and be done with it so we can move on to the stage where Ren finally gets some fucking rest because you want to stay up all night and watch him in his sleep.  To quote the good Sir Ecclesiastes, "It's not for no reason that you can treat Mishima like a piece of shit and it will not hinder the Link's progress; guy is a five star parasocial creep, which is remarkable given that he's a real life acquaintance."


- Seriously, though, Akechi's metaverse outfit looks like he got confused while getting dressed and couldn't remember whether he was going to a costume party hosted by a bored middle-aged suburbanite in her backyard, or tryouts for a local just-for-fun figure skating club.


- So, Ohya, let me get this straight.  Someone accuses you of pursuing a separate investigation, rather than working the assignment you were given...and the defense you choose to go with is, "No, no, I wasn't working on the wrong story for my job!  I was IGNORING my job altogether!  So that I could date a minor!"

Brilliant.  Fuck those losers over in Suikoden; Ohya's clearly the true master tactician.


- Of all the Social Link characters to give Ren a boost to his Kindness stat from hanging out with them, Atlus chose Shinya.  Oh, yeah, sure, checks out.  You bet.  I mean, nothing will hone your empathy and magnanimity toward others better than engaging with a cursing preteen Call of Duty player who feels you're not contributing your proper share to the team, right?

Maybe hanging out with Shinya is teaching Kindness to Ren in the sense that he's not lifting the little shit up and drop-kicking him into the crane machine, so Ren's benevolence muscle MUST be getting a hell of a workout.



THE BADDIES

- Madarame is kind of small potatoes in the plot as a whole, essentially just existing as an initial practice run for the established Phantom Thieves and as a way to work Yusuke into the story...but I gotta say, in a petty, personal way, he’s a more twisted and compelling villain than even Shido himself.  You wouldn’t think that a mere plagiarist could really stand shoulder-to-shoulder with bad guys like extortionists, rapists, mass-murdering conspiracists, and worst of all, corporate CEOs, but Madarame manages it.  The thefts he makes are of the creativity and talent of students who look up to him as both a teacher and a parental figure, trusting him until the moment that it’s too late and their capacity to convey beauty and truth through their craft is forever tainted by the betrayal.  The truth of the Sayuri genuinely impressed me with just what an evil bastard Madrame truly was.  Sure, Shido eliminating everyone in his way and seeking to corrupt his nation into his own twisted view of an elitist paradise is a grander form of evil that creates far more misery by quantity of those harmed by him.  But Shido’s atrocities don’t feel as viciously, personally vile as Madarame’s letting a woman die in front of him rather than getting her help, so that he could deface her masterpiece expressing her love as a mother, claim and sell it as his own work, and take her son to raise as his own, just in case the son inherited any talents Madarame could someday take advantage of.  What a sick fuck.


- I like the moment in the game in which Kaneshiro tells the gang (at the time consisting of Ren, Ann, Ryuji, Yusuke, and Makoto) that they can beg their mommies and daddies for the money he wants from them.  Dude, you have no idea how ineffective that strategy will be with this bunch; they don’t have a complete mother-father set present between the 5 of them.


- And yet somehow Akechi's true outfit manages, shockingly, to be even dumber than his first one.  Guy looks like he was so excited about his cosplay that even though he's changed into his jammies, he still wants to wear the helmet to bed and keep pretending that he's Final Fantasy 4's Kain.