Shin Megami Tensei 5 Stray Thoughts

Even after picking apart this game off and on throughout 2023, somehow, I still have opinions to share on Shin Megami Tensei 5, and spoiler alert, they’re still not complimentary ones.  But I’ve made enough meals of my hate-boner for SMT5--more than enough, I’m sure you’ll agree.  At this point, it’s time for some hate-boner after-dinner mints.



- You gotta love how Atsuta’s dying words to the protagonist (on the Chaos route, where he’s your ally) are just that the responsibility of protecting Tokyo is yours now.  Nothing to the tune of, oh, I dunno, “Please protect my sister Miyazu.”  No “Tell Miyazu I love her,” or “Pass on my apologies for leaving my sister.”  Not even a “Remind Miyazu that the trash goes out on Wednesdays, a-and make sure she...hurrgh, cough cough...separates any fluorescent light bulbs from the rest of it, they count as hazardous waste and the town--oh shit my kidneys, oh fuck it hurts--the town won’t accept them, those have to be, HACKAKC COUGH HURRRKKKK, turned in separately during specific community recycling events that she’ll...oh fuck is that my blood how did I have so much blood everything’s going dark...that she’ll need to call ahead to secure an...appoint...ment...forrrrr......”

Nothing about Miyazu at all.  Just...this all-encompassing and undefined drive to protect Tokyo that is Atsuta’s 1 and only character trait is supposed to have originated from a desire to protect his sister, and yet 90% of the time it’s like the writers didn’t even remember the 2 were related to begin with.


- So, on the matter of Tao...what was the point in taking her goddess form away and resetting any levels, stat raises, etc., every time the game is restarted?  I mean, okay, she’s a story-central character whose resurrection as the goddess of Tokyo only happens in the last quarter of the game, but...Amanozako is a similarly important and unique story figure who you travel with, and the game never has any problem with you hauling the Amanozako you’ve developed in previous games along for the next run, even though the new one’s also hovering around as your guide.  And even with the insistence on having only 1 Tao at a time, it still wouldn’t have been that hard for the game to just store her party member data and give you the option to resume that Tao when she joins you on later runs of this game that expects at least 4 playthroughs.  But resetting her completely every time means that after the first playthrough, Tao falls completely behind all other demons in your stable, and you won’t even want to try to develop her as a fighter, because all your work will be undone the moment you choose to continue the game for the next run.  It’s a baffling decision on the part of the developers; they’ve basically guaranteed that the ONLY one of literal dozens of potential party members that you’ll never, ever want to seriously use is the one who’s the most plot-important, a potential love interest if you squint real hard, portrayed as very powerful, and literally the goddess that the franchise is named for!


- Look, I know this may not be rational, but I hate the fact that I’m supposed to believe that the ultimate, final, true god that takes the celestial throne and dictates what the philosophy of existence shall be, is someone who gets from 1 place to another by Naruto-running.


- Unexpected though it may be, I do want to take a moment and get in a rare word of praise for the game.  The scene during Chapter 2 in the classroom, where Sahori is confronting her bullies, is one that I genuinely think is well-done, at least for the brief period when it’s just Sahori and them, before Lahmu shows up.  The quiet, disgusted disbelief of Sahori as they beg for mercy from her is both well-written and well-acted here:

“Are you serious?  You’re really trying that with me, after it never worked when I said it to you?  While you were punching me, kicking me, destroying my stuff?  NOW you understand, “please don’t hurt me?””

That is a fucking great set of lines, and the quietly growing fury in her voice is surely the best moment of acting in the game.


- Look, I know this may not be rational, but I hate the fact that I’m supposed to believe that the ultimate, final, true god that takes the celestial throne and dictates what the philosophy of existence shall be, is someone who walks around in his civilian identity with what amounts to a sloppy version of the Moe Howard bowl-cut.


- Oh goody.  A sidequest wherein you look for creatures scattered throughout the landscape of the game.  200 of them.  Usually hidden, frequently annoying to reach.  My favorite.

I’m a pretty simple guy and I don’t ask for too many unreasonable things in my life, but I really, really hope that when the person(s) responsible for Gold Skulltulas die, I’m there to witness it.  And possibly instigate it.


- Is it just me, or are the set designs of this game really generic?  I’ve already talked about how little of Tokyo you see and how at odds that is with it being the citymon roll that everyone and their grandmother wants to protect at all costs, and that’s an out-of-character problem for the SMT series, which usually seems to delight in the streets, underground walkways, and general urban decor of Japan.  But just in a general sense, very little of this game’s scenery feels like it comes from a Shin Megami Tensei title.  The boring postapocalyptic expanses of the first 3 major chapters all feel generic, like they could have served in just about any given game of appropriate setting.  The demon castle and Empyrean only barely feel more authentic, still seeming like they’d have served equally well in just about any other RPG, and and the Temple of Eternity is so indistinct that it wouldn’t surprise me to be told that Atlus sourced its design out to Kemco.  The only major area in the game that really feels like it has any SMT flavor is Chapter 4’s Taito setting, and even then, something about it feels more like someone imitating the character of the franchise than a legitimate representation of it.


- I complained previously about how negative the endings of Shin Megami Tensei 5 are across the board and how they make the player feel dissatisfied because of it.  But y’know, I just recently played another RPG called Gamedec, and it’s remarkable how much of a difference presentation and thematic expectation can make in whether an idea works or doesn’t.  Because Gamedec, too, is an RPG that concludes with several ending choices, all of which are flawed, all of which are less about a happy, fulfilling ending than they are about coming to terms with the philosophical difficulties (and even horrors) of existence, and whatever choice you make will result in a higher being chiding you for it...and yet I respect Gamedec’s ending.  Gamedec actually does some set-up to frame the imperfection of the options and situation it presents, and is essentially grasping with the heavier issues of existence, mortality, and self-awareness that our species has always struggled and likely always will struggle with--questions which ultimately have no perfect resolutions, at least none that we’ve yet reasoned out.  If there perhaps isn’t satisfaction to be found in any of Gamedec’s endings, there is at least peace to be made with them, and the game did the legwork through its course to establish the mood and expectations within the player for the way it concludes.  

SMT5, on the other hand, won’t tell its own story, doesn’t want to actually tackle the complex issues it presents, pins itself to a hand-waving magic plot device that sets an expectation for a more satisfying conclusion than it can deliver, and can’t even be bothered, in 3 out of its 4 endings, to take the less-than-5 minutes Gamedec does to SHOW the player the limitations of his/her decision, instead only having the narrator TELL you why what you’ve decided is wrong and stupid and everyone hates you.  Oh, and on that note, Gamedec also has the courtesy not to let the nay-saying narrator have the last word--the protagonist of Gamedec is given the opportunity to respond to the sneering criticism levied at her/his final choice, and that retort is usually decisive, biting, and the stronger argument.  Being able to tell off the jerk who undercuts your decision goes a long way to making Gamedec’s ending far more palatable and worthwhile than Shin Megami Tensei 5’s, and highlighting what makes the latter's so shitty.



Christ this game sucks so much.  You know this is the tenth rant I’ve made about it?  Considering that I take June off, that’s almost 1 rant for every damn month of the year.  That’s basically a third of a year that I spent hating this turd.  10 is the number of rants I made which featured Xenosaga 3, easily 1 of the biggest out-of-control trashfires I’ve come across in my decades of RPG experience.  But even that meandering shitshow possessed far more laudable qualities than this lazy farce!

Seriously, just...shame on Atlus for Shin Megami Tensei 5.  Shame on it.  Real, actual shame.  Everyone involved in the decision-making process for this game, and the writers, should sincerely feel bad about what a flopping pile of nothing they created here.