Annual Summary 2024

I tried, okay?

I tried really, really hard this year to bring about a return to the golden days when I’d be crushing well over 20 RPGs each year.  I gave it my all, dammit!  But all my best efforts could manage in 2024 was a mere 15:



A Dragon’s ReQuest
Baldur’s Gate 3
Child of Light
Cris Tales
CrossCode
Dragon Quest 1
Mr. Saitou
Odessa
Pokemon Generation 9
Shadows Over Loathing
Shin Megami Tensei: Persona 5
Smoke and Sacrifice
Super Lesbian Animal RPG
Tokyo Mirage Sessions #FE
Turnip Boy Commits Tax Evasion



I mean, it’s better than the last few years, I suppose, but it still falls really short of what I wanted to accomplish this year.  Damn Baldur’s Gate 3 being so long it took me actual MONTHS to finish!  Seriously, I was actually pretty much on schedule until August, and then I decided to stop putting it off and conquer the most famous and lauded RPG of the last 5 years, and...yeah, here I am, in the middle of November as I write this, only having JUST finished the damn thing.  It was a good run, don’t get me wrong, but goddamn the size of that game!

Worst thing is, I’m pretty sure I’m not even gonna get all that much rant mileage out of it.  At least with other recent free-time Galactuses like Pathfinder: Wrath of the Righteous and SMT Persona 5, I got a decent handful of rants out of them (especially the latter; are you guys completely sick of me talking about Persona 5 yet?), but I think I really only have a single rant idea for BG3, and it’s gonna be on something everyone already complains about anyway.  Ah, well.

Anyway, Baldur’s Gate 3 might have devoured a truly outrageous amount of my time, and the other games on that list up there certainly consumed their own share (or more than their share; I think we should get rid of the mirror test and instead judge the intelligence of a life form by how quickly they abandon a playthrough of Tokyo Mirage Sessions #FE), but there was certainly plenty of other stuff I did this year, too.  And because I just can’t write one of these Annual Summary rants without making that fact your problem, here’s what else I got up to this year!


Anime: I actually watched some new and current anime this year.  Usually I’m years behind on practically every piece of media I consume, but this year I feel remarkably contemporary!  Of them, the most widely known is Dungeon Meshi, which I liked and especially appreciated for its underlying messages about self-care and respecting ecosystems.  I even more enjoyed Tis Time for Torture, Princess, which is way, way more of a fun and feel-good title than you’d think a story about the forces of hell torturing a woman would be.  And I also checked out I’m in Love With the Villainess, because, if it hasn’t become apparent at some point in the past 20 years, I’m an incurable yuri romantic, and it was...likable?  Mostly?  I mean, I have some definite issues with it, mostly regarding the way that the protagonist woos the girl she’s into, because it’s dipping way too deeply into established and terrible tropes of anime and sitcoms that are basically just sexual harassment.  But at the same time, the characters are likable, the foundations the show’s laying for the romances do seem otherwise genuine, and the story and world are interesting and have unexpected depth and twists for what seems like a simplistic premise.  There are also moments in the show of frankness about the state of Japan’s perceptions of same-sex relationships that cut through decades of intentionally damaging cutesy yuri tropes that delegitimize female homosexuality, and I greatly respect these moments.  So yeah, it holds itself back at times in frustratingly classic and problematic ways, but I do like I’m in Love With the Villainess, and hope it gets to continue in a second season.

But not as much as I hope Tis Time for Torture, Princess gets renewed.  That’s still the winner for me of this year’s new animes.

...Oh, yeah, I did actually watch 1 other brand new anime this year.  And you know what?  I’m not gonna pretend otherwise or make excuses: I actually, sincerely liked Gushing Over Magical Girls.  Call me degenerate or worse, but I’m standing by this show, even if it is basically porn that happens to skirt around the definition as such by only strict technicalities.  Underneath all the gratuitousness and indulgence, there’s a story about embracing one’s sexuality and encouraging others to be similarly true to themselves that I think is not only compelling, but genuinely healthy.  I’m definitely not into all of its facets (some cases’ potential issues of consent are only barely and retroactively dodged, and I’m really not thrilled with Alice’s presence), but...ultimately, the show seems to be as much about frankly and earnestly encouraging its audience not to suppress or hate themselves over sexuality, and reassuring the watcher of the normalcy of having kinks, as it is about just gratification.  And I can respect that and the need for it, particularly in as repressive a culture as Japan is toward the unusual (the fact that I played Persona 5 earlier this year has probably heightened my ability to appreciate this sort of thing, too).

Then again, I might just be a gooner fumbling for ways to fool himself into some feeling of legitimacy.  Who knows.

Lastly, I rewatched Cowboy Bebop again as I showed it to my dad, and Non Non Biyori again as I showed it to my sister.  Both were pretty much as excellent as I remembered, although NNB seems somehow to only have gotten better with time.  It really is such a lovely, simple, heartfelt work.


Books: I didn’t get as much reading done this year as in the last few, but I did still manage to keep up with it.  This year I revisited an old childhood favorite series with a few installments of The Time Warp Trio (by John Scieszka) that I’d never gotten around to before: Hey Kid, Want to Buy a Bridge, Sam Samurai, and Viking It and Liking It.  Viking It and Liking It was nostalgically entertaining, but I didn’t think Sam Samurai was as enjoyable as I remember The Time Warp Trio usually being, and honestly, Hey Kid, Want to Buy a Bridge was surprisingly subpar.  I wonder if I’ve perhaps simply outgrown 1 of my youth’s diversions?

...Nah, this blog’s existence is pretty strong proof that that’s not possible.

Actually, disappointments from authors who should be sure wins was a bit of a theme for my literary experience in 2024.  Ray Bradbury’s The Toybee Convector collection of short stories was a remarkable letdown; I think there was a total of 2 or maybe 3 offerings in the whole compilation that I found any value in reading at all, and only its namesake especially impressed me.  When Bradbury hits, he nails it, but when the man misses, it’s by a country mile, and it seems like it’s 50-50 on which it’s gonna be.  Relatedly, Ordeal by Innocence by Agatha Christie was meandering, disappointingly uninvolving for the reader, had characters that fell flat, shoved some Since We’re Not Related It’ll Be Okay in there without any need for it, felt needlessly critical and ignorant towards adoption at times, and betrayed a laughably biased perspective toward Nature vs. Nurture.  I mean, there have been some bad Agatha Christie works (most of the time they involve her simping for her own Mary Sue, Miss Marple), but Ordeal by Innocence almost doesn’t even read like she wrote it, rather seeming more often than not to just be your regular subpar mystery story of the same time period.

Still, it wasn’t all disappointment.  Sy Montgomery’s Of Time and Turtles was a solid work, and a reread of Westmark reminded me yet again of just why I love Lloyd Alexander so greatly.  And while I’m not a poetry person by any means, I found Celtic Nan, by John Hopkins, to be quite engrossing and powerful, a telling and very personal glimpse into the life of an educated everyman that’s both intelligent and accessible.  Definitely recommended for any poetry fan, or possibly even for those who don’t care for the stuff, like me.


Non-RPG Video Games: I actually played quite a lot of games besides RPGs this year, which...might account somewhat for my total of RPGs being lower than it should be.  But that’s sort of not my fault!  I thought that Inkulinatie, Itorah, My Big Sister, and To the Moon were all RPGs when I went into them, and it was only partway through each of them that I realized that I really couldn’t count each as such.  I don’t regret playing them, though; Itorah and My Big Sister are decent, To the Moon deserves its strong critical praise, and Inkulinati is stylish and fun.  I also played the new Princess Peach Showtime, because it looked fun, and it most certainly was.

My sister also had me play Broken Age, which was very clever, inventive, and neat, a great example of the classic point-and-click adventure like Full Throttle and Monkey Island, complete with their requisite personality and offbeat humor.  Had an awesome plot twist, too; I genuinely was floored by it.  Finally, I replayed Slay the Princess again as I showed it to my sister, which was a great experience, because Slay the Princess is, as I noted last year, just an absolutely brilliant, inspiring experience that’ll stick with you probably forever.  


Streaming and the Like: Watch Batman: Caped Crusader.  Like, right now.  Forget this stupid rant, ignore your hobbies and responsibilities, and go watch it.  Batman: Caped Crusader is basically Bruce Timm telling his past self to hold his beer.  I love it and if it doesn’t get as many seasons as Batman: The Animated Series did, it’ll be a damn crime.

Actually, this was a fantastic year for superhero cartoons on several points, not just for Batman.  Over on the other side of DC, My Adventures With Superman might actually be the best Superman cartoon created--it does a wonderful job with his character and with establishing its own spot in the DC multiverse with its interpretations of classic cast members (this might be my favorite Supergirl) and even some new ones.  It’s artistically simple but pleasing, energetic but not overbearing, it’s got action and drama and reflection in all the right ratios, and maybe most startlingly excellent, Lois Lane is sharing equal billing with Superman as the show’s protagonist--and it’s created a version of Lois that makes this idea work.  I mean, I guess it’s been tried before to at least middling success with the 90s’ Lois and Clark, but My Adventures With Superman manages to create a show just as much about Lois as Superman that doesn’t have to retreat back to the territory of a romantic drama: MAWS is a legitimately engaging, exciting, excellent superhero show, using the setting and cast and concepts to their fullest intended purpose.  And make no mistake, that doesn’t mean the show is at all lacking in the human drama department, either--in fact, this is easily the most believable, engaging, sweet, and compelling depiction of Lois Lane and Superman’s love story I’ve yet seen.  It’s great stuff and so, so pleasing to see, and I’m giddy to see where it goes next.

And goddamn, X-Men ‘97.  Just.  Wow.  Trying to successfully revive and continue something as timelessly and uniquely excellent as X-Men: The Animated Series, a show which also is steeped in the unreasonable rose-tinted light of nostalgia, is normally just outright impossible--something like that was only ever going to happen once, and even if its exact quality could be replicated, surely it still wouldn’t live up to the irrationally inflated expectations of nostalgia.  And yet, somehow, beyond pragmatic expectation and traipsing wildly into the realms of hope and divine intervention, X-Men ‘97 is exactly as purely awesome as it should be.  The show is something akin to a miracle, honestly, and I can’t wait to see Season 2.

Since we’re still talking cartoons, I also saw the second season of The Ghost and Molly McGee this year, which was a lot of fun and shockingly emotional in its conclusion.  Admittedly, pretty much everything involving the Chens was intrusive and subpar--I’d hazard a guess that they’re the result of corporate meddling as some braindead execs decided they couldn’t take any chance of another Owl House non-straight protagonist situation--but as a whole, Season 2 is more of the fun wholesomeness that preceded it.  Hilda’s final season was also great, as one would expect from the quietly artistic work.  And lastly, not all of my superhero cartoons this year came from the traditional DC/Marvel arena--Kid Cosmic is a refreshing, fun, and pleasingly stylized superhero show that, like nearly all their ventures, showcases the ferocious creativity, passion, and talent of both Lauren Faust and Craig McCracken.  In fact, I’m gonna commit some heavy heresy here and now: I think Kid Cosmic is Craig McCracken’s best work to date!

There was also some non-animated stuff I watched this year, too, if you can believe that.  As the CW DC universe always is, DC Legends of Tomorrow continues to be a fun and very guilty pleasure of mine through its second, third, and fourth seasons...although I will say, I think that DCLoT manages to come through in ways that The Flash never could, because, as the show carries on and moves away from its (admittedly kinda cool) first season war with Vandal Savage, it’s better able to embrace the lightheartedness and silliness of its premise of B-squad superheroes doing a Doctor Who thing.  With the limitations that budget and live action impose, and the difficulties of maintaining the same level of stakes and drama over successive seasonal arcs, DC Legends of Tomorrow does far better with going in a more “let’s just have fun with this” direction than The Flash trying to earnestly maintain its gravity and drama.

I also watched the new Fallout show, which was surprisingly great--after the debacle of Fallout 76 and finding out that that smug nitwit Todd Howard had attached himself like a barnacle to this project, I didn’t expect much, but the Fallout show was clearly made by people who understand and respect Fallout, from its first game on (hell, they even kept the acknowledgement of 76 to a minimum; that’s how you know they’re legit).  I mean, I have a few issues with the show and goddamn does my heart weep at the fate of Shady Sands, but...yeah, this was an authentic Fallout product.  

Lastly, my sister had me watch It’s Okay to Not Be Okay.  I’m really not the K-drama type, honestly, and I’ll admit, while I didn’t mind watching it, most of my experience with It’s Okay to Not Be Okay didn’t really impress me.  It had some definite good qualities and moments!  Just wasn’t my kind of thing.

...Until the end of the show, when...I dunno, it all just suddenly came together into something really elegant, interesting, intelligent, and moving.  The ending of It’s Okay to Not Be Okay is so deftly executed, so carefully constructed, that it was like watching a landscape as the sun rose, and seeing that what had seemed unremarkable in the dark was suddenly striking and pleasing to behold.  The show’s conclusion, to me, puts all that comes before it into an elegant lens, and leaves you feeling genuinely good, a satisfaction like finally closing the book on a period of your life and moving forward into the next.  It made me think of the feeling one might have at finally hitting a landmark in therapy and moving forward in a more self-actualized way, which might be exactly as the creators intended their ending to feel, as the show is partly about trauma, neurological conditions, and psychiatric help.  I dunno, I think I’m probably overselling it--but it was still an interesting and pleasing experience to have an ending to a show so positively change the way I viewed all that came before it.  Very neat.


Other Crap: Jesus Christ are we already on Page 6 of this stupid rant and I haven’t even gotten to the damn RPGs yet?  Ugh, let’s run through the rest fast: still working, still caring for an adorable and very sweet leopard gecko, still cooking new things now and then, still having to do a lot of real-life stuff, and now I’ve added to it all some time spent each week on selling stuff on Mercari and eBay for myself and my mother.

There.  Let’s hurry up and get to the actual subject of the rant, already!

(RPGs, in case you’ve forgotten, which after 6 pages of hearing me fall all over Fallout and exclaim about X-Men and gush over Gushing Over Magical Girls, who could blame you?)



RPG Moments of Interest in 2024

1. I actually do like the fact that they made a sprite for the Dragon Quest 1 hero carrying the princess in his arms bridal-style.  It’s a cute touch.

2. Uhh...is it just me, or is Pokemon Generation 9’s Penny just (a less nuanced) Futaba from Persona 5?  Like, it practically feels like plagiarism.

3. A random encounter in which an old man walks up to you, shoves money in your mouth, and starts screaming into your ear for an operator to put his son on the line, having mistaken you for a payphone, is a perfect example of why I just absolutely cherish the Loathing games.  Seriously, Asymmetric Publications, how do you come up with absurdist hilarity like this?  Consistently, for decades!?

4. You guys know the Chrono Compendium?  The undisputed most comprehensive site on the web regarding Chrono Trigger, and longtime staunch and thankless apologist for Chrono Cross, which tirelessly attempted to do SquareEnix’s job for it in finding a way to justify and reconcile Chrono Chross being canonically tied to Chrono Trigger? Yeah, well, right before I put out last year’s Annual Summary, the Chrono Compendium finally threw in the towel on finding a way that CC can not only make any sense on its own terms, but actually fit into the canon and thematic purpose of CT.  The straw that broke the Compendium’s back was when 1 final interview with Cross’s creators made it clear beyond any doubt or defense that they never knew nor cared what they were doing.  Why, after all, should ZeaLity and other fans drive themselves mad trying to make Chrono Cross minimally functional as a sequel or as a story in its own right for free, when the ones who were paid to do so couldn’t be bothered?

Well, whether it’s 20 seconds or 20 years after beating it, there’s certainly no wrong time to start hating Chrono Cross.  Welcome aboard, Chrono Compendium!  And thanks for the article; you’ve managed to find a couple things seriously wrong with this shitty game that even I somehow hadn’t realized in all these decades!

5. Cris Tales’s final boss is a cheap-shotting little fuck.

6. Scams and organized crime, sexual harassment/predators, abusive teachers, corruption, refusal to view women as human beings in their own right, predatory host clubs, the 99% conviction rate, employee abuse, bullying and the must-win mentality, those who abuse the power of shame and regret and honor, a fickle and short-attentioned public, those who need counseling not getting it, suppression of journalism, and good old repressive collectivism as a whole...Shin Megami Tensei: Persona 5 is DONE with anime and video games playing around and being vague about challenging Japan’s societal problems.  Where those that came before it contented themselves with metaphors and light suggestions on how to do better, SMTP5 goes straight for its culture’s throat, and I strongly approve.

7. Between a Loathing game balancing out its signature humor with some genuinely unsettling moments of otherworldly horror, Super Lesbian Animal RPG turning out to have a lot of genuine drama and an earnest save-the-world plot that takes itself seriously, and Turnip Boy Commits Tax Evasion having a hell of a tonal shift when you start getting into its world’s history, I have been surprised again and again this year by the depths and facets of RPGs whose surface level would suggest simple fun only.  I mean, I expect the signature good-natured wit and charm of a Large Battleship Studios title like A Dragon’s ReQuest to come with a side of life-changing pathos, but it seemed like everywhere I looked this year, the cutesy Indie RPGs were jumping up to flex their dramatic muscle.

8. Look, I don’t want to discount the tremendous power of Nurture to overcome one’s Nature, and of course I subscribe to the belief that we choose our own path in life.  With that said, though, all bets are off the moment your parents name you fucking Gharnef.  You are destined to be the main villain of an RPG and there is simply no getting around that fact.

9. Lost my Switch and had to replace it this year, losing all my save data for every game I’ve played on it in the last 7 years in the process, as well as the game that was in it at the time.  This seemed like a horrible accident at first, but I’ve since come to realize that misplacing my Switch may have been a willful act of my subconscious to save me from continuing to experience Tokyo Mirage Sessions #FE, at any cost.  But apparently my subconscious didn’t know about Youtube Let’s Play channels!  Nice try, idiot!

10. Kingdom Hearts 358/2 Days was sweating bullets this year, let me tell you.  Tokyo Mirage Sessions #FE wanted that trash can lid crown for Stupidest RPG Title Ever real bad.  KH3Whatever still pulled through in the end and remains the dumbest, but it was definitely a close call.

11. Bravely Default 2’s B’n’D is the true successor to Triple Triad’s legacy.  You can keep your Gwent, and your Queen’s Gambit, and all that other noise, it’s B’n’D that I’ve loved enough to sink hours into truly mastering!

By which I mean that I learned at some point to use Martha on the first round and just let her win the game for me.  Because Bravely Default 2 knows damn well that Martha is Best Girl, no matter what context.

12. To most staunch, lifelong players of video games, fall damage is a fiendish and hated villain, an eternal curse upon any game that implements it.  And yet, in what may truly be the most astounding feat of all from the game, Baldur’s Gate 3 inverts it, and turns fall damage into a fucking hero.

Is that a gang of thieves moving in for the attack on raised wooden platforms?  Minsc could you be a dear and hurl them off those platforms 1 at a time like you’re on a yeet assembly line?  Oh, what’s that?  A grotesque monstrosity made of gold just initiated combat while standing on her balcony?  Well gee I do wonder if the truly colossal weight of being a golem made out of a precious metal would escalate the damage from a 3-story drop to truly gargantuan levels?

Goodbye, Gortash, and do be sure to ring the bell on your way down to let the previous floor know you’re about to visit, would you?

13. Forget Tav, forget the Blade of Frontiers, even forget Minsc and Boo, if you can stomach the blasphemy.  To me, the quiet, earnest kindness of Spatula Farggo makes him the biggest hero of Faerun.



Quote of the Year
Runners-Up

"Grrr...Well, at any rate, we’ve determined that hamburgers are incapable of conveying the majesty of space.”
  --Caroline, Shin Megami Tensei: Persona 5

“Magic sure is weird.”
  --Cloud, Final Fantasy 7 Rebirth

“Pauline, please!  This isn’t right!  This isn’t you!”
“You’re not wrong, dearie.  I’m not at all dressed for a funeral.”
  --Crisbell and Pauline, Cris Tales

Winner
Just Literally Everything That Minsc Says
  --Minsc, Baldur’s Gate 3

...But if you just want a single winner for our quote of the year, then I suppose we can settle for:

“I...I can touch you...
I can’t believe this!  I can touch you, big brother!”
  --Tiki, Tokyo Mirage Sessions #FE

I didn’t add the text color there, by the way.  That’s color-emphasized in the game.

Just...good God, Fire Emblem, we all know what you’re about, but could you at least try to play a little coy, at least?



Best Prequel/Sequel of 2024
Winner: Baldur’s Gate 3
While very much its own adventure with its own identity, BG3 builds itself very artfully upon the saga that preceded it, directly relying upon the events of BG1 and 2 to form parts of its history in ways that longtime players will recognize and most often appreciate.  That it brings Jaheira, Minsc, and Boo back is good, but the fact that it manages to do so while giving Jaheira some great new character development and escalating Minsc and Boo to new heights of their signature heart and hilarity is a real feather in BG3’s cap.  Now I’ll be the first to say that the game’s not a perfect sequel, because they did Sarevok dirty and they did Viconia filthy--and you can expect that grievance to be showing up in rant form at some point in the future--but it’s a damned good successor to the heart, soul, and history of Baldur’s Gate nonetheless, and what failings it has as such are partly assuaged by BG3 also connecting itself lightly to the events and lore of other D+D titles of old like Neverwinter Nights and Planescape: Torment.  I mean, hell, you could even argue that BG3’s a truer entry in the franchise than Baldur’s Gate 2 was--at least this one’s actually about Baldur’s Gate.

Runners-Up: Mr. Saitou; Shadows Over Loathing; Shin Megami Tensei: Persona 5
I’ll admit, I hoped for a more heavy and dramatic follow-up to Rakuen than Mr. Saitou is, but it’s still got poignant heart to it, and uses the ideas and lore of Rakuen to tell another story of connections and empathy that’s definitely of the same vibe as those that characterize Rakuen, so it’s a solid sequel.  Shadows Over Loathing is more of the same signature, off-kilter and friendly humor that so greatly endear Kingdom of Loathing and West of Loathing to me, and it manages to actually up the ante a little by delivering on its occult horror theme with some bits that are kind of unnerving and alien--it’s a sequel that recaptures the greatness of its forebears, and finds a way to add to it, and it was strong competition to BG3 for winner here.  And lastly, Persona 5 is a fantastic game that once more examines and exalts the spirit of youth on the cusp of adulthood that SMT Persona games embody and explore, to even greater, edgier, more stylized fanfare than before.  It’s more of the same in a great way, while deliciously different and all the greater for it.


Biggest Disappointment of 2024
Loser: Tokyo Mirage Sessions #FE
Anyone familiar with Tokyo Mirage Sessions #FE knows that it is a beautiful convalescence of disappointment, a perfect amalgamation of failed expectations from so many different directions that its existence might actually be the miracle that proves that God exists, and that He hates us so very much.  I’m going to keep it light here because I’m pretty sure I’ll be doing a number of rants on this shitty game in the future, and 1 of them is almost surely going to be examining the myriad ways it disappoints, but to briefly outline it: Tokyo Mirage Sessions #FE is a crossover between Shin Megami Tensei and Fire Emblem that has no connection to SMT and barely any connection to FE (and what connection it has, it undercuts by hitting its pre-established FE characters with amnesia), its writing is terrible, its main characters are shallow surface-level OCs, it’s more about the Japanese entertainment industry than about any kind of adventure, and that focus on the entertainment industry is shockingly superficial and unrealistic.

If you played it because you like Shin Megami Tensei, you’re disappointed.  If you played it because you like Fire Emblem, you’re disappointed.  If you played it because you like RPGs, you’re disappointed.  Hell, if you played it because you have an interest in entertainment or the idol industry, you’re still disappointed.  Tokyo Mirage Sessions #FE fails basic, reasonable expectations on every level.

Almost as Bad: Cris Tales
Cris Tales is one of those cases where the game’s actually fairly good, it just still disappoints because it doesn’t live up to its promise.  For a tale about a woman able to hop between past and future in every location and in battle itself to save her planet from an Ultimecia-like threat that comes from another time, CT is remarkably low-key and relaxed in its general presentation and the way it executes its major events, and there are moments, particularly toward the end (as is usually the case), where it’s clear the developer had to cut planned content and rush things along.  Cris Tales IS good and I did like it, it just wasn’t all that it could and should have been.


Best Finale of 2024
Winner: A Dragon’s ReQuest
Assuming that the finale is the events preceding and including the best ending, that is--most of the “normal” endings to the game are interesting (and even important to see for better understanding of Aurelia’s character, as well as some context to Hinoki Jr.’s for later), but it’s the ultimate ending that best represents a conclusion to this grand adventure.  The finale to ADRQ is epic and at times even awing as Hinoki steps foot within the still-raging calamity that broke and made her world, faces and understands the origins of her adversaries, reaches out to connect to and be saved by the incredible legacy she’s created, and finally steps forth to keep living her life beside the women she so dearly loves.  It’s an atypical but gripping and wholly satisfying conclusion to an epic tale of love, trauma, and adventure, and a great promise that even greater things are yet to come for all.

Runners-Up: Baldur’s Gate 3; Child of Light; Super Lesbian Animal RPG
Honestly, the endings for each of these games are exactly what they should be.  BG3 concludes itself with a massive, epic struggle of the ages that represents a culmination of all facets of the adventure that came before it, and shows how the choices and events of each party member have played out for them.  Child of Light ends with a great struggle against its antagonist as Aurora fully grows into her role, all to the lovely, melancholic fairytale mood that CoL revels in, and Super Lesbian Animal RPG wraps itself up as a story of love, empathy, and healthy conflict resolution...while still providing some satisfying just deserts for a certain unrepentant Earthbound-knockoff jerk, of course.  Each game’s finale is very in line with its style and direction, and all are great, satisfying conclusions.

...Well, depending on your decisions in BG3, I suppose.  There’s plenty of shit that can happen in that ending which really sucks, but you have only yourself to blame for it.  Next time, ask yourself what Boo would do!


Worst RPG of 2024
Loser: Tokyo Mirage Sessions #FE
This game is a useless, soulless, generic, vapid sack of turds that accomplishes, says, and gives absolutely nothing.  Nigh every member of the cast is either annoying, generic, or both, it makes no attempt to satisfyingly utilize either of the 2 franchises it’s supposedly combining, its narration reads like an AI wrote it, and its grasp of the entertainment industry--the ONLY thing the game is interested in showing; every adventure aspect of the plot is clearly just included out of obligation--is naively (even unhealthily) ignorant and repetitively halfhearted.  The story stumbles along, animated by one tired cliche after another, barely held together by lurching momentum and cared about by absolutely no one, least of all those who created it.  Tokyo Mirage Sessions #FE is an embarrassment to the franchises that it crosses over, and when it’s not disappointing fans of both, it’s blundering its way through a crappy, pointless story that betrays a pedestrian’s understanding (at best) of the industry it claims to be showcasing.  It’s populated by forgettable, dime-a-dozen cliches, and throughout its entirety it is fucking DUMB to an actually insulting degree.  This is genuinely 1 of the worst RPGs I’ve ever played.

Almost as Bad: Dragon Quest 1; Odessa; Smoke and Sacrifice
Odessa is not all that bad, really, it’s just not all that good, either.  Kind of just par for the course with many Aldorlea Games: it’s got some good points, some bad qualities, and it often feels just a little off overall.  Certainly not an outright bad game, but at the bottom of the titles I played this year.  Similar case with Smoke and Sacrifice--it’s a little bad, in that it’s a halfway decent story that might have fit appropriately into 2 hours but was stretched out into something like 12, but not awful or anything.  Once again, it’s just a case of it not being better than any of the other RPGs I played this year.

Dragon Quest 1, on the other hand, IS kind of bad.  I don’t care about nostalgia goggles and “for its time” only allows it so much when Phantasy Star 1, Final Fantasy 1, and The Magic of Scheherazade all came out only the next year.  I don’t recall having heard about the art of telling a halfway interesting story only being invented in 1987, and the hardware was the same, so Dragon Quest 1 doesn’t get a free pass for having a plot with all the nuance of Super Mario Brothers 1.  I genuinely can’t believe that this boring nothingburger is the golden standard that practically every subsequent entry in the series refuses to significantly evolve past.


Most Creative of 2024
Winner: Child of Light
It’s crazy to think of “creativity” and the title of an Ubisoft game in the same sentence, but there’s no denying that Child of Light is a wonderfully endearing, melancholic, and hopeful fairy tale RPG that walks an eloquent line between whimsy and the sadness of displacement, loss, and growing up.  It’s got memorably interesting characters, a classic but individual lore and world, and an engaging approach all its own.  I mean, heck, just the fact that it can manage to maintain an entire script from start to finish (with 1 notable exception) in pleasing rhyme is a point of notable creativity in itself!

Runners-Up: A Dragon’s ReQuest; Shadows Over Loathing; Shin Megami Tensei: Persona 5
Honestly, anyone could make a great argument for any of these titles being the most creative of the ones I played this year.  In many ways, A Dragon’s ReQuest’s way of applying Saint Bomber’s approach to characters and storytelling to a traditionally long RPG, along with its interesting way of incorporating a deconstruction of the nature of RPGs and their evolution over time since the early 8-bit days, tops Child of Light for creativity, and Shadows Over Loathing’s singular, endlessly engaging and bizarrely witty humor combined with an occult adventure and an old-timey 1910s - 30s theme could definitely be seen to do the same.  And the premise, execution, twists, and relentless critique of the flaws of Japanese culture of Persona 5 are ferociously creative, too.  I did give the win to Child of Light, because the others DO still have the formulas of predecessors to build upon, where CoL is a new entity from the ground up, but it’s still a close call with such great, interesting, innovative works to choose from.


Best Romance of 2024
Winner: Argon x Aurellia x Fluorine x Garnet x Hinoki (with a possible side order of Chelisera) (A Dragon’s ReQuest)
Really shouldn’t be a shock to anyone who’s heard me speak before about Saint Bomber’s capacity for writing characters and romance.  The love story of Hinoki and her companions is a long, engaged, and determined one that elegantly links the women in her life to her in genuinely touching scenes and dialogues that emotionally develop these superlative characters and their bonds with one another, while displaying each’s individual and nuanced social psyche.  The love stories that entwine in this polyamorous tapestry highlight and are born from shared histories, deeply rooted wants and insecurities, tender gestures of caring and understanding, personal traumas, moments of great internal courage and adventurousness, and undeniable chemistry.

Making it even better is the fact that this isn’t just a harem-esque polyamory centered around a single figure that all the others love (not that I don’t adore much of Duchess Catherine’s love life in Embric of Wulfhammer’s Castle, mind)--it starts that way, with Hinoki as all the other women’s central figure of affection, but A Dragon’s ReQuest carefully, expertly brings Hinoki’s paramours together with their own moments and connections of love as time goes on, with each new couple in this love polyhedron discovering ardor for one another in their own, unique terms.  And no lack of effort or conviction is given to these “side” romances, either--Fluorine and Garnet’s feelings for each other are treated with the same respect and importance to them as people and as a couple with which each’s romance with Hinoki is treated, for example.  Honestly, one of most poignant scenes in the game (and one of my many favorites) is that in which Fluorine and Aurellia allow physicality to finally find a way to connect them and foray into new emotional territory together.  It’s lovely.  The whole game-spanning multifaceted love story of the main characters is lovely.

Runners-Up: Allison x Melody (Super Lesbian Animal RPG); Astarion x Tav (Baldur’s Gate 3); Karlach x Tav (Baldur’s Gate 3)
I had a lot of good options to choose from for love stories this year, and narrowing it down to these couples was a tough process.  Honestly, it kills me that Larceny x Rowdy from A Dragon’s ReQuest didn’t make it here, just about all the main romantic options in Baldur’s Gate 3 were compelling (Shadowheart was really close to ousting Astarion here), not to mention even a couple of the NPC couples encountered along the adventure, and there were some other good contenders from Super Lesbian Animal RPG, Shadows Over Loathing...hell, even Odessa’s “Taken but it’s his fiancee instead of his daughter” schtick had a decently compelling earnestness to it.

Still, I’ll stand by these.  Karlach’s earnestness, eagerness to give and receive affection, and the way that the complications of loving her intermingle with her personal character arcs, all make romancing her feel the most genuine and good of the many options in BG3, I think.  Astarion’s not far behind, either; his own personal story as a damaged, hurting slave grasping for freedom and revenge in need of help to separate his real desires from the ones his fear forces upon him coalesces marvelously with his finding someone to love earnestly in spite of his initial instinct to merely use that love as a form of security.

And as might be expected of an RPG with a highlight of identity, love, and queer culture, the love story of Super Lesbian Animal RPG’s main couple is well-written, genuine, and touching.  I’m also particularly fond of Allison and Melody’s romance because it’s a great example to writers that it’s quite possible to have a dynamic, engaging, and heartfelt love story AFTER the couple in question actually get together--their relationship is already established and in progress by the time the game starts, a narrative rarity that writers seem to retreat from like vampires from garlic, or Nijisanji from any decision that isn’t pure evil.  And I don’t know why that is, because if Allison and Melody’s tale is anything to go by, there’s no shortage of opportunities for an in-progress romantic relationship for sweet displays, conflicts born of bad communication or projected insecurities, and the combining of both personal and shared growth as they work through their obstacles as a couple and help each other work through their issues as people.


Best Voice Acting of 2024
Winner: Baldur’s Gate 3
BG3’s voice acting is diverse, engaging, emphatic, memorable, and pretty much always on point.  Whether it’s Jaheira’s dryly, bitterly, but undeniably passionate entreaties, Gale’s affable know-it-all charm, Astarion’s expressive smarm and annoyance, Lae’zel’s grumbles and hisses, or one of the many great side performances like those of Withers, the Owlbear Cub, Hope, or Raphael, the game’s always got a well-acted line from a singular vocal character for you from one moment to the next.

I mean, honestly, was there even a chance that Baldur’s Gate 3 wasn’t going to be the winner when it’s got the best, most robust vocal performance yet for Minsc?  I think not.

Runners-Up: Cris Tales; Shin Megami Tensei: Persona 5
Surprisingly few of the RPGs I played this year were voiced, actually, but that doesn’t diminish the vocal work of Cris Tales (Lizzie Freeman in particular does a good job at keeping up with Zas’s Pinkie-Pie-esque energy), nor the fine job that SMT Persona 5’s actors turned in.  Good work, folks!


Funniest of 2024
Winner: Shadows Over Loathing
It’s a Loathing game, and somehow, even after having been at it for more than half of my lifetime, Asymmetric Publications manages to still find fresh, witty, high- and lowbrow comedy avenues just as hilarious as ever.  Between glockenspiel war music, windmills who are mortally invested in snobbery over poets, and discussing the place of evolution in vampire hierarchy, Shadows Over Loathing brings the same fantastic humor that West of Loathing did and Kingdom of Loathing perfected, with a delightful early 20th century theme.  You had me at the “TRY COFFEE: You’ll like it eventually” sign, SoL.

Runners-Up: A Dragon’s ReQuest; Turnip Boy Commits Tax Evasion
The name should probably be your first giveaway that Turnip Boy Commits Tax Evasion’s going to be a largely silly venture, and it lives up to its promise with gentle, random humor throughout its course.  Meanwhile, A Dragon’s ReQuest, though as emotionally and deadly serious as often and as deeply as it desires, immerses itself in the fun, oft referential, eternally clever banter and observations that make Saint Bomber’s works so much genuine fun to go through (and increase the stories’ emotional power through skillful contrast) --and this latest title probably contains the most jokes specifically about RPGs, which, as you know, is a major bonus where I’m concerned!


Best Villain of 2024
Winner: Shido (Shin Megami Tensei: Persona 5)
Shido’s a great villain on multiple levels--he’s genuinely despicable, he’s a decent mirror to the hero of the story and negatively connected to his past, he’s introduced with gradual foreboding before he stands in the villain’s limelight, he’s both grandiose and petty as a scummy little low-tier jerk with ambition and a weapon that happened to fall into his lap who begins making aristocratic airs, and as a 2-faced politician who sells himself through a cult of personality, deception, and underhanded tactics rather than qualification with every intention to serve only himself and his fellow elites at the detriment of the common man, he’s...certainly a believable and familiar villain to us.  Shido’s a great antagonist matched to a great game, and the best I saw this year.

Almost as Bad: Madarame (Shin Megami Tensei: Persona 5); Malphon (A Dragon’s ReQuest); Verena (Super Lesbian Animal RPG)
Like what I did there?  The runners-up for the villain category are now “almost as bad” like I usually describe the follow-ups for negative categories.  Cuz, y’know.  Bad guys.  Ha ha.

...Moving on.

As I said in 1 of my previous rants on the game, Madarame, in spite of being pretty small potatoes in the overall scheme of things, is shockingly vile when you really consider him--Shido may be more diabolical and of course his machinations reach and harm incalculably more people, but there’s a special, chillingly personal kind of evil to a man who would simply stand back and watch a woman die when he could have saved her, just so that he could take her greatest work--a painting expressing her new wonder and joy at being a mother--and deface it, then claim it as his own.  An evil compounded by his then adopting her infant son, the one that had inspired her masterpiece that he has defiled and disguised as his own, in the hopes that the child might have inherited her talents, talents that he might one day be able to steal and warp to his purposes all over again.  Just...holy shit, dude, I know he’s not financially ruining families or destroying the quality of life for countless workers or ordering silent assassinations in an attempt to pull a country-devastating coup, but somehow Madarame seems the most outright nasty villain in the entire game.  I gotta applaud SMTP5’s writers, because you wouldn’t think that you could ever find a way to make a plagiarist stand shoulder-to-shoulder with tyrants and CEOs and rapists, but they damn well found a way.

Verena as an antagonist is decently layered and sympathetic, and while it may seem crazy to place her above the entire rogues’ gallery of Baldur’s Gate 3, her intentions and character simply seem far more real and compelling.  Malphon’s got great energy as an antagonist, both amusingly fun, and genuinely malevolent, whose levity can be replaced in moments with deadly gravity that can seem unnerving even to the player.  Her back story’s cool and interesting to learn, and an example of how you do certain elements of a villain’s postmortem character revelations well--by making sure there’s still some time for them to sink in, by not trying to play sympathetic histories or intentions as more important than the wrongdoing they caused, and by fitting it into the game’s grander story and lore naturally and significantly, rather than just shoving new information in out of nowhere.  For these reasons, Malphon succeeds as a villain who we only get a clear picture of after the fact, where Tales of Phantasia’s Dhaos, a man whose villainy basically just amounts to “I have to go now.  My planet needs me,” utterly failed.

And I know that’s kinda neither here nor there, really, but a successful version of this kind of villain writing is so rare, and I bring up ToP’s gross failure in creating a decent villain often enough, that I really do feel it’s important to specifically point out an occasion where it DOES work when it comes about.


Best Character of 2024
Winner: Shadowheart (Baldur’s Gate 3)
Well-written and appealing, Shadowheart’s dynamic character undergoes a compelling crisis of faith when the inherent decency that simply couldn’t be beaten out of her clashes with the toxic demands of perhaps the pettiest god of the Dungeons and Dragons pantheon (which is saying something, considering D+D also includes those petulant losers Myrkul and Bhaal), at which point she hits her stride as a person and her journey becomes one of affirming herself and rising above the propaganda and abuse Shar failed to break her with.  It is (or at least, it can be, if you follow it through to the right conclusion) a bolstering tale of a woman rising to become more than the sum of her faith to shame a goddess by showing that she can live with and past loss, where Shar could only be so broken by it that her pain had to spill out into all that surrounded her.  There’s a lot of good character arcs in BG3 (Astarion’s pursuit of freedom from both his enslavement and from his fear of it is great, for example, and Karlach’s got some powerful moments of grappling with mortality when revenge fails to salve her hurt) and memorable personalities to go with them (Jaheira and Gale are honestly pretty great), but I think Shadowheart stands above the rest.

Runners-Up: Aurellia (A Dragon’s ReQuest); Fluorine (A Dragon’s ReQuest); Garnet (A Dragon’s ReQuest)
Garnet, Fluorine, and Aurellia are multifaceted, deep, and emotionally complex human beings constantly being developed, both subtly and in pivotal scenes, in their own rights and hand-in-hand with one another and their fellow party members, and through it all, they’re remarkably and approachably human and interesting.  And while there are a myriad of ways that these 3 (and make no mistake, Argon and Hinoki are solid, too, I just only fill 3 spaces in this category) are characters with meaningful foundations, dynamic development, and excellent writing throughout, what definitively puts them ahead of all competitors from other games I played this year is probably the fact that they aren’t just limited to 1 major story and arc of development, but rather struggle with multiple major points of growth and conflict over the course of their adventure.

Aurellia, for example, is majorly characterized by the suffering and fury that lurks beneath her austere surface as a result of the tortures she underwent as her family, life, and legacy were maliciously destroyed before her, and the struggle to come to terms with what that did to her heart and the hatred it instilled in her, the potential seed it planted in her heart to become a world-ender should she lose herself to it.  But much of this trauma just coalesced with natural impulses of frustration and difficulties in finding herself emotionally that already existed, and another major story of Aurellia’s character is her struggle to find ways to open up to and connect earnestly with her companions.  And that hardship in getting in touch with herself was largely caused by a demanding, restrictive upbringing and role, which in turn means that another major part of Aurellia’s development centers around her resentment for her position, her kingdom, and her life, even as she strives to be their perfect champion and mourns what she’s lost.  These and several more points of who Aurellia is are all coinciding, usually connected, yet individual major arcs of development that this single character engages in, painting the picture of a real, multifaceted human being rather than just a specifically designed character limited to 1 or 2 major personal story beats.

Now granted, Aurellia is probably the most nuanced and interesting of ADRQ’s cast--hell, I think she’s the best character I’ve yet seen Saint Bomber write altogether--but Fluorine and Garnet aren’t far behind her.  Hell, to be totally blunt, A Dragon’s ReQuest nearly swept this whole category; I’m honestly not sure at all that Aurellia shouldn’t be sitting in the winner’s spot here, in spite of how great Shadowheart’s story is.  ADRQ really is just that good with its character writing.

Okay Cool But We All Know the Real Winner Is: Minsc (Baldur’s Gate 3)
Yeah actually screw all that high-falutin’ critical analysis mumbo-jumbo, keep your Shadowhearts and Aurellias and all the rest, all I really want out of my cast is a hilarious lunatic hollering about his hamster.


Best RPG of 2024
Winner: Shin Megami Tensei: Persona 5
SMT Persona 5 is an engaging, fun, earnest, passionate game with great ambitions, sharp writing, memorable characters with good dynamics, realistically loathsome villains, and a creative, well-plotted, and excellent story.  It tells a rich and rewarding tale, represents the well-meaning rebellion of the adolescent beautifully, and takes a direct, uncompromising stance against the ills and unhealthy attitudes of its culture in an adamant defense of the different and indictment of collectivism, while never erring from a clear and present celebration of Tokyo and its people.  It’s flashy, it’s fun, and it’s intelligent and passionate in equal measure.  Fantastic RPG!

Runners-Up: A Dragon’s ReQuest; Baldur’s Gate 3; Shadows Over Loathing
Shadows Over Loathing may be a comedy RPG, but it’s a hell of a funny comedy RPG, and the addition of an involved plot, more party members with some better-defined development, and a surprisingly effective capacity to lean into the occult theme enough to be genuinely unnerving, have elevated SOL even higher than West of Loathing was.

Not to shortchange Baldur’s Gate 3, but I don’t think I need to go over why it’s here, really.  Not only have I sang many of its praises in this rant already, but it absolutely swept a real awards show back in 2023, and it’s been consistently held up as a new standard for quality gaming since the moment it released.  It’s basically the next Witcher 3 and Final Fantasy 7--very over-hyped, but genuinely excellent nonetheless.

As for A Dragon’s ReQuest...well.  You think my placing SMT Persona 5 above Baldur’s Gate 3 is a hot take?  Friend, if I hadn’t played Persona 5 this year, I’d be courting divine retribution right now, because as far as I’m concerned, A Dragon’s ReQuest is an even better RPG than Baldur’s Gate 3.



List Changes
Funniest RPGs: A Dragon’s ReQuest and Shadows Over Loathing have been added; no games have been removed--Kingdom of Loathing, Shadows Over Loathing, and West of Loathing have all been condensed into a single spot (since, while distinct and worthwhile individual games, you have to admit that the humor in all is of the same recognizable brand).
Greatest Romances: Argon, Aurellia, Fluorine, Garnet, and Hinoki (A Dragon’s ReQuest) have been added; Beast and Belle (Kingdom Hearts Series) have been removed.  Sorry, you classic couple whose care crossed kinds of chronicles from cartoon to Kingdom Hearts.
Greatest RPGs: I haven’t made any changes to this yet, but my plan is for my next rant to be an update and expansion of this list, as it’s been some time, and at that time, Shin Megami Tensei: Persona 5 will be added to it (and possibly A Dragon’s ReQuest, though I’m not sure on that point--Quantum Entanglement would certainly be ahead in the running as far as Large Battleship Studios games go, but it might happen).
Most Annoying Characters: Barry (Tokyo Mirage Sessions #FE) has been added; Navi (The Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time) has been removed.  Congrats, you flighty, frustrating fairy.
Most Overpowered Characters: Gen (Child of Light) has been added; George (Suikoden 5) has been removed.  Sorry, you 1-eyed 1-shotting wonder warrior.
Pokemon: Ogerpon has been added to Best Pokemon; Wooloo has been removed.  Sorry, you soft, silly spherical sheep simulacrum.
Worst RPGs: I legitimately cannot believe that Tokyo Mirage Sessions #FE cannot quite manage to get onto this list.  That’s how obscenely awful the list’s gatekeeper Conception 2 really is.  I think it may be past time to expand this one out a bit further.
I did move Chrono Cross several spots higher on the list, though, thanks to the Chrono Compendium article I mentioned much earlier opening my eyes to the fact that Chrono Cross is, beyond all rational expectation, actually worse than I thought.


Music Additions
Note: Bolded songs were rated an A+.

Them’s Fightin’ Chords
A Dragon’s ReQuest Boss Battle (Boss Battle)
Pokemon Generation 9 Kieran and Terapagos Battle (Event Boss Battle

Hither, Thither, and Song
A Dragon’s ReQuest Great Disaster (Final Dungeon)
A Dragon’s ReQuest Ruins (Dungeon)
A Dragon’s ReQuest: Vintervault (Cold)
Cris Tales Rainbow Lake (Freshwater)

Chime Really Feeling It!
A Dragon’s ReQuest Emotional Difficulty (Reflection/Remembrance)
A Dragon’s ReQuest Sad (Sad)

See You Bass Cowboy
A Dragon’s ReQuest Argon (Character)
Child of Light Aurora Grows Up (Miscellaneous)
CrossCode Jet (Character)

All That and a Bag of Chiptunes
CrossCode Temple of Thunder Remix (General Remixes)
The Legend of Zelda: Skyward Sword Skipper’s Retreat Shack Low Whistle/Oboe Remix (General Remixes)
Pokemon Generation 9 Champion Nemona Battle (Fan Originals)
A Dragon’s ReQuest is now my eight favorite soundtrack!



And that’s it, that’s all for 2024!  Certainly a full and eventful year, if not a productive one for me on the RPG front.  But I have a good feeling about 2025!  For sure!  Really!

...Ah, screw it, let’s face it, I’m never playing more than 15 RPGs in a year again at this point.  Free time doesn’t get less precious as life progresses, only all the more rare.  Well, hopefully I can at least keep playing gems with what time I do have for it.  Another Large Battleship Studios game is mostly complete, as I understand it, Hades 2 is much the same I’m told, and I’ve avoided Cyberpunk 2077 for long enough, I reckon, so 2025 ought to have some great moments awaiting me!  And hell, it’s at least not statistically likely that anything’s gonna be as awful as Tokyo Mirage Sessions #FE, so there’s that, at least.

As ever, sincere, warm, and effusive gratitude must go to my friend Ecclesiastes, as well as my sister, who both continue, against all logical recourse, to let me blather on to them about my every whimsical musing regarding RPGs, as I use them as unpaid and greatly put-upon editors and soundboards.  I certainly don’t know what they’re getting out of being the first line of defense against typos and poorly phrased sentences and outright bad ideas altogether, but I’m damned grateful to them for it.

And likewise as always, I’m also incredibly flattered and grateful to Ecclesiastes for also being my Patron.  In 1 of the most unfair twists of sick cosmic humor, HE’S paying ME for listening to my dumb ideas and arguing me out of embarrassing myself with bad takes, and helping me sort out the best phrasing for RPG Valentines, the latter duty probably qualifying as an actual crime to inflict on another human being.  Seriously, with all grateful gravity, thank you, sir.  You’re a damned fine friend.

And thanks to all the rest of you guys who read these stupid rants.  It never ceases to please and amaze me every time I realize that there are actually people out there who read what I write and (presumably) give it some thought.  Hell, even if you don’t, it’s still majorly cool that you’re willing to take time out of a finite existence even just to scorn me.  Sincerely, thanks for reading in 2024!  Happy holidays, and I’ll see you again in the new year!

Shin Megami Tensei: Persona 5 Stray Thoughts (Again)

Yeah, okay, I’ve already done 2 of these kinds of rants for Persona 5, but look.  Do you have any idea how many hours I dropped into this game?  Just because it turns out to be 1 of the best RPGs ever made, that doesn’t mean I don’t still want to get my rants’ worth out of all the time I spent on it!  So you’re sadly just going to have to bear with it, and put up with me cashing in on that investment with 1 last collection of impressions, observations, and what could perhaps only generously be called thoughts!



- Dojima, Adachi, Naoto, Sae, Akechi...does Shin Megami Tensei: Persona just not believe that competent detectives can exist?  I’d trust Chief Wiggum to solve a case before I’d let any of the chuckleheads in law enforcement within the Persona universe pick up a magnifying glass.


- It’s honestly shocking that the Phantom Thieves largely manage to maintain their anonymity, all things considered.  The members are constantly discussing, openly and without any sort of volume control, their activities in crowded public spaces, just practically announcing themselves in the middle of full restaurants and shops.  Ren is literally incapable of forming a friendship with another human being who won’t eventually make him as a Phantom Thief.  They’ve got Mishima handling their public relations, and I’m pretty sure not a single solitary human being on Earth exists who would have bet on Mishima managing to go a whole year without spilling the beans.  The gang pops in and out of reality in the middle of crowded city plazas and street corners in full view of any and every passerby.  And Ryuji...goddamnit, Ryuji.  Why don’t you holler just a bit louder that you and Ren are Phantom Thieves every time you call him?  You’re so eager to self-report that I’m surprised you don’t tell Ren to put you on speaker first, make sure all of downtown Tokyo can listen in on your next move as vigilantes.

You’d think that after the scares that came of both Makoto AND Futaba each deducing the Thieves’ identities and briefly blackmailing them with that knowledge, back to back, these schmucks would get a little less casual about talking shop while surrounded by strangers, but nope!  The fact that the group JUST missed being doxxed by hackers a mere week prior doesn’t deter Ryuji in the slightest from loudly griping in the middle of a beach absolutely jam-packed with strangers about how he deserves more respect from the ladies for all his work as a Phantom Thief.  I’m not asking for games of cloak-and-dagger intrigue, here, but I don’t think it’s unreasonable to expect these kids to at least make some kind of effort to stay clandestine.  The CW Flash takes his secret identity more seriously, and I don’t think there’s a full dozen people in Central City who that guy hasn’t unmasked himself in front of.


- Some of the settings of the villains’ mental palaces really deserve some applause for the creativity and symbolism they incorporate.  From Shido’s pleasure cruiser aggressively drifting through the flooded ruins of Tokyo to Okumura’s tacky, colorful sci-fi theme dehumanizing and distancing the laborers and employees he views as machines, Persona 5’s creators put some thought and creativity into these representations of their villains’ distorted perceptions and desires.  My favorite is Kaneshiro’s: the image of a mansion-bank floating over the district that he scams, above the miserable peons below, is great, and the people below him being walking, talking ATM machines may be heavy-handed, but it’s still good.  The touch that I really loved was realizing that all the yen bills in the air weren’t just floating aimlessly in the wind, but were actually being discreetly sucked up into his bank-palace--the trail of money is there, yet the method of collection subtle enough that the observer won’t even see it at first.  That’s some artful design there.


- While we’re talking about the palaces, I also love that they all (with the exception of Maruki’s) fit into the game’s thief theme by being classic targets for grand, showy heists and break-ins.  Casinos, Egyptian tombs, museums, major transportation hubs, castles, cruises for the wealthy elite, and, of course, the classic bank vault, they’re all exactly the kinds of places that form the backdrops to heist movies, comic book villain plots, Carmen Sandiego capers, and so on.  Very neat!


- In order to escape the collapse of Futaba’s pyramid palace, Morgana transforms into a car, inverts his trunk into a cushioned landing spot for the rest of the party to jump onto, and then sucks them inside.  And may I just say, it is so refreshing and brave a thing to see Atlus make such a bold gesture of inclusion toward the anal vore community!


- Let’s see...wears a prominent red baseball cap...of elementary school age...expresses a desire to be the best...and let’s not forget the line, "He forced me into a battle...and when I lost, he told me I owed him money."
Yup, the evidence all lines up.  Shinya Oda, confirmed to be a Pokemon Trainer.


- Sae's interrogation intro to Haru's Social Link is peculiar.  Like, she's demanding to know who Ren's inside man for Okumura Foods is, AFTER the arc is fully wrapped up, and the overall events and actions of that arc hardly even involved any kind of insider access to Okumura Foods, anyway.  Not to mention that of Haru’s contributions as a friend and Phantom Thief go, her personal association with her father barely even registers.

I mean I get that they can't exactly have Sae open this Link with, "You look too well-nourished for a normal human being. WHO'S YOUR VEGETABLE SUPPLIER, YOU FUCKING ANIMAL!?"  But even still, there had to be a better, more relevant quality of Haru’s to call attention to as her definite contribution.


- Uh...why does the gang start disappearing, during the game’s finale?  Okay, sure, the Phantom Thieves are being forgotten by the public’s cognition, fine.  Got it.  Heavy-handed message received.  But, like...Ryuji’s mom still remembers that her son exists, right?  Sojiro’s probably stirring some coffee and some curry with the same utensil as he gets dinner ready for his kids at this very moment.  Surely Shiho has not suddenly out of nowhere forgotten about her (I want to add ”girl” to the front of this word like you wouldn’t believe)friend Ann.  Haru has an entire goddamn corporate empire with her name on it.  Sae is sitting next to the red Batman phone just waiting to pick it up and call in a tactical subpoena on Shido’s ass the moment she hears from her sister that the job’s done.  These kids exist OUTSIDE of their crimefighting identities, too!  Ren didn’t answer every question in class right and dominate the exam rankings for a year straight just for these schmucks not to remember that he’s valefuckingdictorian!


- So the game presents the fact that stopping Maruki will mean that Akechi will no longer be alive, and it’s acting like any rational, emotionally healthy human being’s knee jerk reaction to this information isn’t gonna be, “There’s no downside!”  Seriously, I can’t think of a better reason to stay the course.


- During the ending, Ren gives back the diary that Sojiro gave him the year before, which he’s been using to save his game.  It’s a very sweet moment of farewell and gratitude between adoptive father and son.  I like how meaningful and poignant it is.

...But I also like to giggle whilst I think about what will happen when Sojiro actually opens that thing up and starts reading.

“Why’d you write 6 entries over the course of 4 minutes on October 9 that all just say “Couldn’t remember whether I saved yet today”?
“What’s this entry here that just reads “Stat-maxed Neko Shogun lol” mean?
“...Jesus Christ, just how many times did you order your teacher to travel across town in the middle of the night to fix you a cup of coffee!?”

Pokemon Generation 9 is a Step in the Right Direction

It used to be that I didn’t pay a whole lot of mind to Pokemon games.  Oh, I played most of them, sure, and even occasionally mustered up enough effort to complain about their flaws, be they trivial or serious.  But ultimately, the main-line installments in the Pokemon series were defined by consistent low-effort stories that said nothing, enacted by casts of flat NPCs and silent protagonists, and which only included the very namesakes of the franchise in the capacity of plot devices, collectibles, and lore scenery.  For 2 decades, Pokemon games were transparently nothing but Nintendo’s way of printing money every now and then.  Some like Generation 1 were more boring than others, some like Generation 3 were more stupid than others, and some like Generation 4 gave a token effort to do something with themselves, but ultimately they were all subpar as RPGs go, to put it a bit generously.  Highly ignorable as a whole.

Simpler times.

Because then 2016 rolled around, and for its 20th anniversary with the series, Nintendo went and did the unthinkable: they released an actual, genuine, all-around great game in the Pokemon series.  Generation 7 had a story with nuance, legitimate heart, and sincere purpose, told through the vehicle of a great main character and a compelling villain with some depth, and defined itself by their dichotomy.  Generation 7 also fulfilled its quota of new Pokemon, a new region, and even gave that region an interesting place in the world that expanded the franchise’s lore pleasingly.  But the main quality of note was definitely the fact that it told a well-written, gripping, thoughtfully emotional story of independence, love powerful enough to forgive, the heroism born when those qualities meet, and expressed itself through a colorful cast with a lot of personality.  There was even the seed of a promising new perspective on the titular Pokemon and what their place should be.  Generation 7 was so great that, suddenly, Pokemon was something I could actually give a shit about.

So of course, the next installment of the series turned out to be the most vapid, hands-off, lazy non-story the series has yet seen.  I’ve made my complaints known about Generation 8 on more than 1 occasion, but suffice to say that it was the absence of every quality that makes an RPG even remotely worth playing, and proud of being so.  Nintendo and Game Freak didn’t just go back on the progress that Generation 7 had made, they reversed it so hard that they wound up at a lower, lousier level than they’d even started at.

Thankfully, though, Pokemon Scarlet and Violet have actually managed to reach down into the hole that Generation 8 dug for itself, and haul the series back up.  Not to the height that Generation 7 achieved, of course, or really even anywhere close to it, but at least we’re back above-ground at this point.

Generation 9 involves an actual story you get to participate in, for starters.  Not the journey to beat all the Gym Leaders and become Champion so much, of course.  That’s just the same bland, pointless filler it’s always been, punctuated by Nemona, a rival so 1-dimensional in her obsession with battles that even the largely parodical Big Bull of Okage would tell her to get a damn hobby, and Geeta, a Champion who’s generic and forgettable to an extreme fault.  On the other hand, she’s not Leon, so I guess she still represents a huge step up from last time.  But besides the regular, canned Pokemon journey, Generation 9 also focuses on a story about investigating the delinquent student group known as Team Star and hauling their asses back to class, and a story about getting ingredients to make sandwiches for a dog.

And okay, yeah, those don’t sound terrifically interesting, admittedly.  But learning the history behind Team Star actually turns the ordeal into a halfway decent story of regret, friendship, and the failure of the system to do right by those on the fringe of society.  And procuring ingredients winds up having the player participate in a plot with some poignant pathos as Arven pursues his plan to restore the health of his Pokemon pup who was injured while protecting Arven.  This one’s particularly good, as it’s a decent story in its own right, it actually follows through on Nintendo’s “they’re partners that we value and grow together with, not gladiatorial slave animals!” narrative, and it establishes Arven’s character very well, which is important since he’s the guy with a significant connection to Professor Sada or Turo, the main figure of the final, overarching story of the Paldea region.

And speaking of, the last arc in which the truth of Sada/Turo is revealed is pretty decent, too.  It may not ultimately be all that truly meaningful and poignant in actuality, nor Sada/Turo all that impressive an antagonist, but it manages to sell itself as such pretty effectively with its atmosphere and earnestness.  The line between the moron in Generation 9 who aimed to completely destroy the ecosystem with temporally-displaced invasive species and the the morons in Generation 3 who aimed to completely destroy the ecosystem by fucking around with land/ocean distribution ratios may be thin at best, but unlike the joke that is Generation 3’s main plot and villains, Generation 9 goes as hard as it possibly can to make this seem like a more epic finale to a long quest than it actually is, and it does actually pay off to a decent degree.  The final confrontation with Sada/Turo feels compelling, and the preamble setting of the Great Crater helps get the player into it.  The final arc of Generation 9 also represents a decent (if a little too understated) conclusion to Arven’s personal story, and also a good finish to the story of the protagonist’s partner Koraidon/Miraidon.

And yeah, I’m also pleased that a major character of the game’s story, one which is actually dynamic and has a relevant part to play as more than just as a plot device, is the main legendary Pokemon of the generation.  This is the third game in a row that has finally begun treating its series’s namesakes as characters, not just objects, with their own stories and personal development to achieve,* and it does so both in its main story and in 1 of its DLC ventures, so I’m very pleased with Generation 9 on that front, and I hope that this indicates that Nintendo has decided that Pokemon being important characters in their own damn games is now a series standard.

Honestly, there’s a lot to like about Pokemon Scarlet and Violet.  There actually seems to be some enthusiasm to the manner in which Generation 9 portrays and makes use of its setting (that being a Spain-inspired region), as it incorporates some occasional Spanish into its dialogue, and even makes a pun out of Team Star’s catchphrase “hasta la vistar.”  The DLC is overall pretty good--not something I can recommend buying due to being grossly overpriced, but still, way better than Generation 8’s, and, for that matter, Nintendo’s overall standard of quality for its games’ add-ons.  Even if I’m lukewarm on Penny, and Nemona is just an obsessive idiot, the overall dynamic of camaraderie between Juliana’s friend group by the end of the game is really appealing.**  The soundtrack is pretty decent, and even if there’s not a lot of tunes I really love, it definitely knows how to set its mood when it’s most important to do so (particularly through the final dungeon and finale).***

Sure, Generation 9 isn’t without its failings.  The character designs are pretty lackluster and few major characters, fewer Gym Leaders, and only half the Elite 4 stand out at all, whether visually or by gimmick.  And while there have certainly been worse generations for this, I can’t say that the Pokemon that Generation 9 introduces are too terribly interesting in my eyes--Koraidon and Miraidon are decently cool, and Ogerpon and Terapogos are both very cute, but not a lot else caught my attention.  And lastly, it’s buggier than it has any right to be, a problem which has unfortunately earned it a lot of scorn and dismissal by gamers.

But character design is a pretty minor and unimportant flaw, and Pokemon design is really only slightly worse a thing to flub.  Technical failings are frustrating, but the game is still very playable; it’s thankfully not the kind of mess you’d expect (and have that expectation met a dozen times over) from Bethesda, for example.  And such a buggy state is a symptom of bad management and unrealistic deadlines, whereas a tasteless nothingburger story like that of Pokemon Sword and Shield simply represents an outright bad game, one whose creators clearly didn’t give a shit about.  If I HAVE to choose between an RPG with merit that doesn’t function on a technical level as well as it should, and a worthless RPG that works perfectly but can offer nothing but wasted time, you can bet I’m gonna pick the former, so to me, Generation 9’s still a tremendous leap forward from Generation 8 even at its lowest moments.

Pokemon Scarlet and Violet’s not Pokemon Moon and Sun, not by a long shot.  But Generation 9 is still a pretty good game in its own right, the second best RPG the main Pokemon series has to offer (hell, just the second good one it’s produced).  And after having Leon shove me away from experiencing an actual story for 95% of Generation 8, and finding the contents of that last pathetic gasp 5% to be stupid and boring, you can bet that I find Generation 9’s fairly good plot, decent cast, and earnest attempt at quality to be a huge relief.  There’s every chance that the next mainline Pokemon game will be a return to subpar quality, but Generation 9 at least has shown that there’s cause for hope, that climbing out of the gaping landfill of Generation 8 wasn’t an insurmountable task.  Good work to Nintendo and Game Freak for Pokemon Scarlet and Violet!












* Granted, Generation 8 only did this in its DLCs, but that’s still more than Generations 1 - 6 bothered with.  And heaven knows Sword and Shield needs what little credit it can get for doing anything right.


** Although really, just about anything would be better than having to go through another game of Hop forcing his way into every single situation you come across.


*** Admittedly, this isn’t really a step up from the last game.  Generation 8 shares that curious quality with so many others like Chrono Cross, Final Fantasy Mystic Quest, and Final Fantasy 5, wherein a really bad RPG somehow manages to have an absolutely banging soundtrack.  Still, at least Generation 9 isn’t a noticeable drop in musical quality, personal tastes notwithstanding.

General RPGs' Save Points' Ease of Use

The use of Save Points in an RPG should be convenient, straightforward, and fast.

RPGs as a whole are characterized by long, sprawling narratives, and while shorter, 3 - 10 hour ventures exist, the bread-and-butter of this genre is the 20 - 60 hour game.  And since most of us don’t just sit down in front of the newest Tales of series title on Monday with the intention of next standing back up on Friday--and since most of us don’t really want to take a chance of losing hours’ worth of progress thanks to 1 unfair quirk of the trickster gods in charge of RNG--that means there’s gonna be a lot of saving happening over the course of playing through any given RPG.

And that’s just assuming a regular player who’s not a neurotic mess, which is probably the least common of we RPG enthusiasts.  More often than not, you’re also gonna be adding instances of making a new save 10 seconds after having already made one, because you forgot the first time that you wanted to equip a different accessory on 1 character, or you decided after the fact that you wanted to change someone’s job class, or you needed to swap the order of party members in battle to better reflect your ever-changing shipping whims.  And then there’s those of us who save, exit out of the screen, check to make sure we’re ready for the next hurdle, suddenly realize that we’re pretty sure but not quite 100% certain that we saved, bring up the save menu again just to be sure, save, exit out, think for a moment about smores, refocus on the game, can’t quite remember whether the smores thing happened before or after we’d finished saving, bring up the save menu again because better save than sorry (lolz), save, exit out, then realize that it’s been a few minutes since we arrived at the save point, decide that we’d better save again so we don’t lose all the progress we’ve made here, and make 1 last save before finally stepping off the save point.

...Only to realize that we forgot to also make a second save file because the trauma of Velius* will never truly leave us, and immediately return to our self-imposed save point prison.

Look, my point is, if the number of saves I make for an RPG numbers less than the triple digits, I consider it a pretty solid step forward for my mental health.  So it’s a really, really important quality-of-life feature for an RPG’s save points to be simple, fast, and straightforward.  I mean, the ideal scenario is that of most western RPGs where you just save whenever you want, instead of having to backtrack or push forward to find some arbitrarily-placed cluster of sparkles, rainbow prism, tamed parrot, open diary sitting on the ground, payphone, etc.  And I really, really don’t understand, in this day and age, how that isn’t just how it is for ALL games now--particularly when a functional version of the “save anywhere” system was present all the way back in the first Legend of Zelda on the NES.  Jesus Christ, Atlus, are you seriously telling me that by 2021 you STILL hadn’t figured out the technology necessary to let the player save wherever they pleased in Shin Megami Tensei 5?  How hard could it have been to program that intuitive alternative to a system of glowy blue leyline save points?  You can’t possibly convince me you were too busy to manage it; the script for SMT5’s entire story could fit onto the napkins from the single McDonalds lunch that your team wrote it over.

But barring a developer having enough sense and wherewithal to give the player the option to save anywhere and anytime they choose, it’s important to make using a save point as convenient as possible.  It is, in fact, probably as important as a feature can be without being connected to the story or other elements of writing.

And most RPG creators seem to be on board with this idea, thankfully, and have been since the early days of gaming.  You want to save in good old Final Fantasy 6, you just go on up to a save point, open the menu, and select the Save function.  It’s even easier in games like Chrono Trigger and Terranigma--you just walk up to the thing, hit the action button, and it automatically takes you to the save file screen.  No muss, no fuss, the process is streamlined and only takes as long as it takes you to actually press the buttons.  

But sadly, this is not always the case.  Some RPGs decide to get cutesy with the whole process.  Dragon Quest 1, for example, is a huge pain in the ass.  Every time you want to save, you have to go all the way back to the king and talk to him, because there is not a single other save point or save NPC in the entire game!  And it’s not just a quick, to-the-point conversation, either.  The king doesn’t just give a nod and go “Yo, you saving?  Cool, done, gtfo.”  No, you have to have the doddering old tyrant run through a greeting line of dialogue so long it takes up 3 scrolling lines of the text box, and once your transaction should be finished, he then extends it by “helpfully” asking you whether or not you want to continue the adventure.  Goddammit, YES, OBVIOUSLY!  If I want to stop playing, I don’t need your precious royal leave to do so, you senile self-important superfluous social sinkhole, I’ll just reach forward and turn my fucking console OFF.  The fact that I’m wasting my breath talking to you, the most useless member of human society, automatically carries with it the implication that I’ve resisted both my better judgment and my gag reflex, and chosen to continue playing Dragon Quest!  Stop tempting me with a better time, already!  It’s a stupid question to ask at ALL, but you really have to make it a part of the process of saving the game EVERY time?

But Dragon Quest 1 goes all the way back to the late 1980s, 1 of the earliest console RPGs from the very first days of video games, so you can make some excuse for its failings.  I mean, okay, you actually can't, really, because even contemporary peers like The Legend of Zelda 1 and Phantasy Star 1 had far better save-anywhere systems in place.  But still, it was early enough that inconvenient and inelegant user interface and systems were par for the course; there was still plenty of streamlining to be done in the industry at all levels.  Although this annoying time-wasting attachment of “do u want 2 embrace the sweet silent darkness of the void y/n” to save interactions persisted in the DQ series past the first installment, and even infected some other RPGs, too.

Anyway, point is, certain allowances can theoretically be made for older games that make the process of saving your game less convenient than it could be.  But even in the modern age, some RPGs still slow the process down for no reason!

You take the game Cris Tales, for example.  This earnest little Indie title was released in 2021, so it is, as of the time of writing this, still a pretty recent game.  And every time I see the little patch of dirt that protagonist Crisbelle stabs with her sword to create a save point, I feel a tiny pang of annoyance, because I know that should I use it, it’s gonna take longer than there was any reason for it to.  See, when you use a save point in Cris Tales, what happens is that your companion Matias (or, if he’s absent, party member Zas), asks Crisbell what she wants to do, and you choose between saving, using a tent to restore your party, or nothing.  Crisbell says a line of dialogue to confirm your choice, and you’re on your way.

Which doesn’t sound like a problem, right?  Seems like that’s a pretty direct way of doing things.  Not as direct as Chrono Trigger or Final Fantasy just having a save point that doesn’t require a dialogue interaction to use, of course, which is weird considering that Cris Tales actually has easter eggs that reference both, so it obviously was familiar with far more functional save point mechanics, but still, fairly direct, right?  Except that all dialogue and dialogue action choices in Cris Tales are rather clunky.  The line of dialogue starts before the choices appear, and because there’s that tiny little extra moment of hesitation as the game contemplates the fact that you just hit the A button, confirming that you want to save is just long enough to be annoying, when it’s happening in an age 30 years after the age in which you could hit the A button at a save point and have the game instantly respond accordingly without demanding confirmation.

Why does Matias need to ASK what Crisbell wants to do, anyway?  She walked up to a save point and hit the confirm button; what do you THINK she wants to do, you idiot?**  Imagine if every time you drove up to a take-out window, the employee greeted you with, “Welcome to Kentucky Fried Taco King!  Before we proceed, could you please avow in no uncertain terms that you have approached us out of an earnest wish to requisition some form of chicken?”  I don’t think Crisbell’s jamming the A button at a save point because she’s lost, Matias.

But hey, at least the save points in Cris Tales are consistent whether they’re found in a dungeon or in a town.  It’s always been just a little extra layer of save annoyance when a game decides that, instead of just having a nice, simple level of consistency, the process of saving in town is going to require you to go sign the inn’s guestbook, or talk to a priest (which runs the risk of another Chatty Cathy like the DQ1 king), or something like that, rather than simply make a beeline for the object you’re used to utilizing for the purpose.  What’s the reasoning behind that?  What, is it some sort of bid for realism or something?  Yeah, okay, I guess maybe it’s not 100% realistic to just assume that every town on the planet’s gonna have a statue of the goddess just sitting in town square, but the game already kinda threw realism out the window when it made the assertion that some enterprising and exceptionally pious sculptor went to the trouble of carving such a statue in a cave a mile below the surface of the planet where no human being had ever set foot before, inside the depths of an active volcano, and right smack dab in the middle of an extra-dimensional fortress of demons that you can only even reach if you bring together the fabled 7 rainbow crystals of Plot-Gar the Mighty and Convoluted.  For heaven’s sake, developers, save us and yourselves some time and just code 1 type of save point.  Don’t make me have to add an extra screen transition to get into a temple or inn every damn time I want to save in a city.

And man, don’t even get me started on the situation with Wild Arms 3.  Gimel Coins feel like the setup for a new monetization scheme, except that they were created in an age that predates most scummy microtransaction scams, so their inconvenience is bafflingly just for its own sake.

I’m obviously making mountains out of what could only be generously described as molehills--hell, this might not even qualify as an “anthill” kind of problem.  Still, when you’re gonna be doing it 50 times or more for almost any given RPG, it only makes sense to keep the process of saving your game as streamlined and convenient as possible, and it irks me when a game can’t just DO that.  No one needs speeches on the matter, no one needs to confirm their desire to do so, no one needs to be offered permission to stop playing the game, no one needs the additional action of having to squint and make out which sign says “Inn,” and no one needs a finite number of tokens which permit you the privilege of saving at all, seriously, what the fuck Wild Arms 3.  Just lay out your save point (and make it heal the party automatically dammit), and either let the player just go up to it and silently use it from a menu or by pushing a single button, or, at the absolute very most, make interacting with it an instantaneous text box of “Save?  Yes/No”, and BE DONE WITH IT.










* Belias for those who prefer the limp, lifeless retranslation of Final Fantasy Tactics.


** Matias’s perpetually questioning what Crisbell wants to do at the save point has led me to imagine Crisbell giving increasingly dismaying responses, always said in that chipper, goody-two-shoes tone of hers:

“What do you want to do, Crisbell?”

“I want to play with fire!”
“I want to join Scientology!”
“I want to see whether pain can help me feel alive again!”
“I want to run an NFT rug-pull!”
“I want to start collecting fingers!”
“I want to convince an 8-year-old that the world is a terrible place where no one cares for each other!”
“I want to explore recreational cannibalism!”
“I want to set off a series of high-yield explosives across the globe that cause catastrophic death and destruction on every continent!”
“I want to encourage someone to sign on with Nijisanji!”

This loses a lot in print, but if you ever play Cris Tales and imagine encouraging, guileless little Crisbell declaring these things in her forthright “I want to record our progress!” voice, it’ll be quite amusing, I assure you.

Shin Megami Tensei: Persona 5 Stray Thoughts

As I said a few rants ago, while I’ve had plenty of thoughts about SMT Persona 5 that have warranted (under a very generous interpretation of that word) full-on rants, there were far more impressions and reactions I experienced as I played this game that are more appropriate for a blurb than a dissertation.  So we’re here again today for some more stray thoughts, this time a bit more generalized than last time.  Enjoy!



- Man, the writers didn’t even try to hide the fact that Akechi was going to be the game’s twist villain.  This douchebag is going around talking and dressing like Ikutsuki, with the same profession and almost the same name as Adachi.  I know the Persona team can only write 1 type of surprise villain, but come on, guys.


- I really like the fact that the planning and deduction in this game isn’t a 1-person show.  Ren may be, for example, the one who figures out that Kaneshiro’s palace is a bank, but it’s a team effort of Ann, Yusuke, and even Ryuji’s intuitive luck that figures out that it’s located in Shibuyua, which is an equally important step in getting to him.  Later in this same arc, the team works as a whole and has their talents utilized in the scene of their trying to follow Makoto to find Kaneshiro’s hideout--Makoto’s figured out a way to provoke Kaneshiro’s lackeys into taking her there, Yusuke is fast on his feet and immediately sketches the license plate of the vehicle that kidnaps Makoto, and Ryuji uses his vaunted Juvenile Delinquent powers to get a cab to stop so they can follow.  This sort of thing is common in Persona 5; everyone has a part to play in the success of the Phantom Thieves.  Some are more frequently vital than others (Makoto and Futaba), but each member’s personality and talents contribute to the success of the team in demonstrably valuable ways, within and beyond their introductory arc.

It’s a far cry from what we had to put up with in Persona 4--Yu and Naoto seemed to be the only ones on the team who were allowed to ever figure anything useful/significant out (most of which were painfully obvious deductions that the player had already figured out hours before), with the others barely managing to occasionally toss a few clues their way.  And on the rare occasion that the rest of the Investigation Team were actually DOING things, it was mostly just running around or basic functions that literally anyone could accomplish which had no connection whatsoever to the actor specifically.  It’s a huge improvement; where SMTP4 constantly held itself back by treating Yu like a fanfic’s self-insert Mary Sue, Persona 5...well, it’s certainly not lacking in player wish fulfillment, but at least it doesn’t let that get in the way of effective storytelling and use of its cast.


- Damn, once it’s decided that Le Blanc is gonna be the Thieves’ hideout, Ren loses absolutely any illusions of privacy in his personal life.  Man’s up getting 2 AM texts from Ryuji like “hey dude imma be there tomorrow with dvds and ur room’s where the player at, its cool if I just hang out in your personal living space all day, right?  dont bother texting back ur answer doesnt matter”


- Romance in Persona 5 is weird to me.  Ren seems much closer to the mental and emotional level of an adult than that of a high schooler, which makes it feel a little uncomfortable to hook him up with girls that are actually in his appropriate age group, like Ann or Hifumi.*  At the same time, it’s also obviously sketchy to have Ren hook up with actual adults, even if his maturity does somehow feel more appropriately on their level.**  Not helping matters, of course, is the fact that, as per Persona tradition, there’s really only 1 or 2 romances in the game that are even halfway decent to begin with.  And let’s not even get into the ickiness of the emotional power imbalance inherent with dating Futaba.

Thankfully, Haru manages to hit a sweet spot of an appropriate age, an older soul, AND a romance that’s at least passably believable, but honestly, it feels like Atlus hit that bullseye out of luck alone.


- I really like the fact that the relationships that Ren forms with his Social Link pals have demonstrable and appropriate effects on improving his abilities as a Phantom Thief, from gaining new fancy firearm moves from learning Shinya’s First Person Shooter techniques, to gaining more tactical options in combat from learning Shogi strategy from Hifumi, to building a more formidable and fortified state of mind in battle thanks to learning concentration strategies from Dr. Maruki during counseling sessions.  With Personas being manifestations of different thoughts, perspectives, beliefs, experiences, and feelings within the breadth of the human experience, there’s always been the elegant and quiet implication that the reason that advancing Social Links empowers different types of Personas was because the protagonist is broadening his horizons and expanding his understanding of the human experience through his connections with others, and I’ve always liked that.  But with the action of Persona 5 taking place entirely within a cognitive dimension, having the Social Links of Persona 5 also directly empower and expand Ren’s capabilities is a narrative touch I appreciate.  It also heightens the weight and significance of the friends he makes outside of the Phantom Thieves, as he carries the lessons, joys, and values he’s gained from them into his work as a hero, allowing them a more constant and notable contributive presence in Persona 5 than was true of non-party Social Links in previous titles.  It’s a good new feature.


- Yusuke, Hifumi, Kasumi...is there anyone from Japan who didn't spend the same weekend in the same 2-block radius of the same specific corner of Hawaii? I'm half surprised they didn't get an obligatory previous game cameo out of the way by inventing some reason for Akihiko, Metis, Rei and Zen, the Persona 4 Hermit shrine fox, and goddamn Raidou Kuzunoha XIV to all be sitting on a bench as Ren happens to walk past.


- While on the subject, is there some law posted in the Atlus boardroom that school vacations in Persona games have to be boring nothingburgers? Why even include the Hawaii trip to begin with? Nothing happens, being half the world away from home doesn't prevent ANYONE from meeting up, and you could go to the beach with a prospective love interest in Japan anyway. It's not the travesty that was the Persona 4 camping trip, thank God, but the most memorable part of this entire half week spent in Hawaii was calculating just how much of the day Mishima was spending with his head jammed in Ren's suitcase, sniffing his boxers.


- Seeing Ren dance gives me Commander Shepard PTSD.


- Does anyone else just absolutely love the movies and TV shows that Ren can watch in his free time?  I couldn’t even begin to explain why, but somehow the absurd versions of classic and renowned film and media that Persona 5 comes up with were 1 of my personally favorite things about the game.  I always got such a kick out of the spoken dialogue lines that would play as he watched stuff like Admission Impossible, Guy McVer, and of course, The Cake Knight Rises; they’re the perfect blend of silly, clever, and stupid to make this idea work.  Persona 5’s absolutely filled to the brim with little day-to-day quirks and polish that give it such a robust personality, and getting to listen in on Ren’s watching habits was definitely my favorite of these signature bits of flare.


- While we’re on the subject of Ren’s watching habits: the night before the finale to the main story of Persona 5, I decided that Ren should just get to relax and clear his head a bit, so I had him spend the night watching the first half of the DVD he’d recently rented.

So it’s now my headcanon that, for the entirety of the fateful Christmas Eve, as the Phantom Thieves plunged through the depths of Mementos, fought a chalice-made-god, challenged the embodiment of the seven deadly sins, and made hope incarnate literally shoot a bullet through collectivism's face, the ONLY thing running through Ren's mind the whole time, driving him forward, was a burning, unquenchable desire to see how Desperate Housewives ended.








* Although it’s also possible that it’s actually more just the fact that, at 40 years old, my old ass is starting to feel creepy about datesim’ing teenage characters.


** Hell, good sir Ecclesiastes has pointed out to me that there are times when Ren is so clearly emotionally and psychologically ahead of even the older romantic options that it still feels like he has too much leverage over them for it to ever be a relationship between equals.  I mean, can you seriously look at Ohya and say the woman is Ren’s mental peer?