Pokemon Generation 8's Leon is a Jackass

Not every Pokemon Champion is all that impressive.  Lord knows that Lance and Alder never impressed me in the slightest, for example, and I actually just had to look up who the Champion of Generation 3 was to remind myself.  Which didn’t even work; I know what he looks like and what his name is, but I still don’t remember a thing about him.  So yeah, they can’t all be Cynthia.  But that’s no excuse for Leon.

Leon is a putz.  A schmuck.  An incompetent, braindead doofus whose existence has actively worsened his entire nation.  The guy is an embarrassing, tiresome excuse for a Champion, and represents a painfully obvious case of Trying Too Hard on Nintendo’s part.

Let’s just get it out of the way first: I was never gonna like the guy, because he’s the most notable entity forcing the protagonist to stay out of the plot of their own game.  If the slightest possibility of actually taking part in the game’s story arises and Leon’s around, you can bet your last dollar that Leon’s gonna be the one to enthusiastically shoo the player off, insisting the protagonist concentrate solely on their little sports challenges.  Leon and I weren’t going to get along, ever, because he is dedicated to keeping me away from the entire reason I’m playing the game.

Still, it can’t just be me, right?  I mean, the guy is a rank amateur!  As a Pokemon trainer, Leon reminds me of Eleanor Silverburg from Suikoden 4: overrated, and constantly lauded by all around him for possessing nothing more than basic competency.  You’d have a difficult time arguing that he’s anywhere but the absolute bottom of the Champions in terms of basic in-combat ability, and his dialogue certainly seems to back that up.  “Super effective hits are a surefire path to victory!” he’ll proudly inform you, as you battle him for the title of greatest trainer in the region.  Cynthia set and manipulated battle conditions to give herself advantages half a dozen turns in advance--meanwhile, Leon over here knows how to follow the advice of a tutorial NPC.  So impressive.

I also like the part during the final battle where, if he scores a critical hit, he’ll reassure the protagonist not to focus on it, and keep going ahead.  It’s like...yeah, okay, thanks again for the tutorial during the final battle, dick.  Yup, Gloria/Victor has trounced every Gym Leader in the region, beaten all of her/his rival trainers, fought alongside beasts of legend to save the world, and taken down a godlike Pokemon that whupped your sorry ass, Leon--but no, you’re right, she/he’s in serious danger of giving in to despair over your lame-balls Charizard getting a lucky shot.  She/He’ll just fall all to pieces without your generous condescension.

Speaking of the Charizard, gee, Nintendo, could you pander a little harder to the nostalgia of your adult audience?  “Look, look, 30-to-40 demographic!  Leon uses a CHARIZARD!  Just like YOU did 25 years ago!  Remember that?  Huh?  Remember the good old days with Charizard?  Is this not DA BOMB, my fellow used-to-be kids?  I’d buy that for a dollar, amirite?  ...No, really, please, buy this for dollars, please please oh my Arceus we want your money so bad.”  Never mind that Leon’s constantly spouting platitudes about how much regional pride he has while making his signature Pokemon one that comes from an entirely different region.  I mean, I’ll be the first to agree that the new Pokemon you’ve rolled out for the Galar region are the most uninspired lot you’ve come up with yet--seriously, I never thought I’d  reach a day when I’d view something like Flapple would be 1 of the better new Pokemon for a generation--but maybe at least showcase a Pokemon you can find in your own country if you’re gonna keep spewing patriotic sweet-nothings all the time?

And while we’re on the subject of stuff that Leon says all the damn time...DUDE.  We get it.  YOU’RE THE CHAMPION.  Could ya...could ya maybe stop calling attention to it every 4 minutes?  I mean the word champion is even Leon’s favorite adjective.

Not that he’s too terribly attached to the job, mind you.  Leon’s perfectly willing to give up the position to any of the sponsored trainers who can complete their journey and defeat him, as is only right.  Indeed, Leon is perfectly content to give the chance to replace him to any talented, worthy trainer...or, of course, to his own family member.  Yes, nepotism is alive and well in the Galar region with Leon, who makes it a point to endorse Hop, his own brother, to take on the challenge to become the next Champion.  Yeah, because Hop being admitted into a competition based on talent for leadership and tactical intelligence isn’t a dead give-away of preferential treatment at all.  Who else was on Leon’s list of potential candidates for sponsorship that Hop was deemed more qualified than, I wonder?  Team Skull grunts?  Magikarp?  A half-eaten sandwich?*

And on the subject of the transition of leadership from 1 Champion to the next, can we talk about what a scummy, responsibility-dodging ass Leon is?  The first thing he does, the FIRST THING, when Gloria/Victor becomes the new Champion of Galar, is immediately start talking about how it’s time to start looking ahead and planning for the future, passing the goddamn buck to Gloria/Victor as he says it’s up to her/him “to create the bright future we all hope to see.”  GEE, kinda interesting how the SECOND he’s no longer Champion himself, suddenly all the fun and games are over and it’s time for the Champion to start doing some real goddamn work, huh?

What convenient fucking timing that we’re going to start taking the responsibility for Galar’s future seriously NOW, huh?  Not for the last few years, during which the Champion’s been known for absolutely goddamn nothing but public showboating and sporting matches to show off his might as a trainer.  Not for the past couple weeks, which was when Rose was trying to get Leon to commit to some action regarding the potential energy crisis in the region’s future.  Not last night, when another sporting event was deemed more important than Rose’s having a mental breakdown out of worry for the region’s future.  No, no, not any of THOSE times, only NOW, when some other Champion can be the one working for the good of Galar.

So, hey, Leon, quick question there, buddy.  If it’s up to the Champion to bring about the new future and guide their region’s path, as you are so conveniently quick to point out now that you’ve been replaced...does that mean it’s your fucking fault that Galar is a nation of sports-obsessed morons who are too busy filling stadiums in worship of you to pay any attention to their looming energy crisis?  That everyone in the region’s so fixated on seeing giant Pokemon battles that even the most basic history and lore of your country’s been almost completely lost?  That all socio-economic ventures have become so inherently tied to the narrow, specialized Pokemon battling involving Dynamaxing, that any town not lucky enough to be built on a Power Spot runs the risk of sagging into poverty and obscurity, like Spikemuth?

Is the current careless, teetering bread-and-circus society of Galar the path and destination you consciously envisioned, Leon, or did it just happen to get that way on your watch because your mental acuity, ability to prioritize, and personal values are all identical to those of a poorly-raised 5-year-old?  Has your country been getting destroyed by your vision, or your carelessness?  Hitler or Nero, Leon, which one are you?

You know, if I had even the slightest faith in the writers of Pokemon Generation 8, I might have thought that it was all intentional.  I might have thought that Leon, and the sorry, vapid, 1-dimensional society of the Galar region were an intentional critique of the Pokemon world’s tendency to elect its most lauded celebrities and (from all appearances) government leaders based simply on how good they are at a specific sport.  You could look at Leon’s total disinterest in anything of actual importance to the region, at the way the region’s so busy being distracted by stadium matches that it can’t face its actual problems (present or future), and see a subtle but scathing commentary on the social structures that have been established in previous games as being the norm of the Pokemon world.  A message to the tune of, “Choose your leaders based on their ability to win Pokemon battles, and of course you’re going to get a dumb-as-rocks, clueless jock like Leon as your leader,” or something to that effect.  This could be a clever, insightful indictment of the series, much in the way that Generation 7 quietly criticized the way that Pokemon are treated in this world...

But it’s not.  Generation 7?  Well-written, involved, emotionally powerful story with depth and nuance.  Generation 8?  Game Freak actively barred you from the plot so they wouldn’t have to actually write it.  The writers of Sword and Shield likely do not possess the talent, and absolutely do not possess the work ethic, to have intended anything more of Leon as a character than the surface level.  Besides, the game makes it too strong and uniform a point to portray Leon as some great guy you’re supposed to idolize--he’s celebrated too earnestly for you to be intended to do anything else.  Sadly, though, the substance isn’t there to back that desire up, and in the end, Leon is simply a tiresome dipshit.

I miss Cynthia.














* Yes, he did sponsor Gloria/Victor, too, but let’s not pretend that said sponsorship didn’t feel a hell of a lot like an unexpected afterthought.