Thursday, February 8, 2018

General RPG Valentines 2

It's that time of year again, ladies and gents! Yes, that magical, wonderful time of year in which we celebrate Love, that highest virtue of humanity, by ritually sacrificing it to our soulless corporate masters on a holiday that twists the concept of human affection into an economic obligation. In spite of my cynicism, however, I wholeheartedly love any holiday devoted to the concept of reminding others of just how important they are to you, and so, I have created for you all 20 more ways to tell someone you love them while being an RPG dork of irredeemable magnitude. Enjoy, and have a Happy Valentine's Day!












































But of course, if you're a sourpuss about Valentine's Day and want everyone to know about it, while also letting them know that you're an RPG addict beyond saving...well, I've got a few of these things for you, too!











9 comments:

  1. I'm actually one of those sourpusses. You can do it all the week before or after, so why fall for the marketing? I keep it in until someone asks, like world-unweary snapchat aficionado #4 at work.

    Nice selection. Dunban seems like a smart guy. These tired face/Ryder memes are the best thing to come from Andromeda.

    Good old Kevin. How Cloud or even Squall are accused of being emo gits while this character exists, I don't know.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yeah, compared to Kevin and Shion's love story, Squall and Rinoa actually does look like the stirring, tender romantic epic that Squaresoft thinks it is.

      If you're not a fan of Valentine's Day, then I at least wish you a happy Discount Chocolate Day, sir!

      Delete
  2. You know, I've been wondering if FF8's failure to sell that relationship wasn't actually an artistic decision. Characters acting out of sheer emotion is a defining aspect of FF8, after all, and there's no shortage of characters making suicidal or fratricidal decisions for love or other reasons in classic literature and film.

    Too much work and consistency is found in the writing for *everything* to be as sloppy and nonsensical as the worst moments the game has to offer.

    I'm always ready for discount chocolate day. Been having my coffee black all this week to cleanse my pallet for that extra dark goodness.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Pretty sure you're giving Square way, way more credit than they deserve with that theory, heh.

      Delete
    2. Hey, they weren't begging for suicide watch just yet.

      Delete
  3. Can you please make the valentines I suggested last time into reality?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Well...the thing is, I don't really know several of the games or creators you mentioned well enough to be comfortable making statements with them. And if I'm to be fully honest, I don't really get the Obsidian/Bethesda one, nor do I know what the context of the Bioware one is.

      Delete
    2. Bethesda and Obsidian make extremely buggy games-- although their games are often quite fun despite the bugs--so the joke is that the valentine is self-destructing due to poor design. I imagined it leaking smoke and electricity, bleeding and glowing unearthly colors. Bioware used massive amounts of plagiarized materials in its trailers Mass Effect: Andromeda: It ripped off Halo, Xenoblade Chronicles X, 2001, Wing Commander, an astronaut's photo of the Earth from the moon and a lot of other imagery.

      I have an idea for an article: Watch Babylon 5 and comment on how the first three Mass Effects, which came out about 15 years later have exactly the same plot and characters but with far worse writing and characterization.

      Delete
    3. Ah, I get it. Well, I'll knock the idea about in my head a bit and see what comes out.

      I've never heard this comparison drawn to Babylon 5 before. I'm not sure I'm ready to engage in watching an entire multi-season show for a single rant, though.

      Delete