Friday, March 17, 2006

Final Fantasy 5's Characters and Plot

I'm feeling unoriginal today, so I'm just going to do another of these character list things. This time with extra plot! For a balanced diet.

Butz: Chunkhead hero. Like, the most solidly unoriginal hero imaginable. His name is the ONLY memorable thing about him. And this ain't a good thing.

Reina: She likes dragons, because of something to do with her mommy. Also, she's a princess.

Faris: She talks like a pirate, and this is mistaken as character development. Also, she's a princess.

Galuf: Being old is apparently considered a type of personality now.

Krile: She's a little girl who talks to animals. Also, she's a princess.

X-Death: As unoriginal a villain as Butz is a hero. Also, could be killed by a Walmart Lawn and Garden center worker with some weed-killer.

Plot: Go save crystals! What? You failed miserably? Okay, go to another planet and attack X-Death! What? You failed miserably? Okay, go seek a way to get into his place, and try again! What? You failed miserably even though you thought you won? Well now you're fucked, because, despite the fact that the decrepit, ancient turtle just kicked his ass much more thoroughly than YOU guys ever did, he now has the power to make the N-Zone, which is not the End Zone from football or Enzo from Reboot, but is rather a void thing, that, I dunno, takes stuff from one place and puts it in another place instead. It's...bad? I guess?


  1. What no Gilgamesh?

    Everything is not better with a princess

    though I guess there are exception (Daisy, Garnet, Caeda people like that)

    1. Though Gilgamesh is admittedly one of the very few aspects of FF5 that is in any way enjoyable, he's not part of the party, nor the main antagonist, so he doesn't really make the list.

  2. Am I the only person who can say "Butz" without smirking?

    In regards to most of the entire cast, this game doesn't have a lot of character development, moreso relying on characterization to give a basic foundation of the characters and moving on to the other aspects of the game, like the goofy plot and its too-good-for-the-times Job System. I can see from the plot that it was going to be a lighthearted, shallow, campy adventure, and developing characters would detract from that.

    Dissidia implies that the Void was supposed to be some unstable alternate dimension full of limitless energy. Which would be a nice thing for a villain to have, to say the least. Calling it a "Void" was possibly the best way to NOT suggest that, though, so I can't disagree with your rant as the game tells it.

    And I miss Reboot.