Wednesday, February 8, 2017

General RPG Valentines 1

Howdy folks! It’s February! And that means that Valentine’s Day is right around the corner, the holiday all about love, joyous romance, and blowing your wallet to hell for the sake of appearances, because fuck me if we can have even a single goddamn holiday that our toxic level of capitalism doesn’t make into a cheap, crass cash grab.

Is there someone special in your life? Do you have a La Pucelle Tactics’s Priere-level disability that makes you utterly incapable of doing something so fucking simple as honestly communicating your affection to that someone special? Well, no worries, friends, The RPGenius has got you covered. Below are 20 RPG valentines guaranteed to win the heart of whomever you hand (well, copy-paste) them to! Or at least get him/her to look at you funny. But that’s still kinda like your senpai noticing you, right? Enjoy!













































But hey, don’t think I’ve forgotten about you, sourpusses! Are you the sort of person who feels the need to take a holiday about romantic love as a personal attack? No worries, cuz The RPGenius has got you covered, too! Here are a few RPG anti-valentines to help you blacken someone’s day...or, as previously noted, just make them look at you funny. Ironically enjoy!















Oh, and yes, the number in this rant’s title does indeed mean that this is gonna be a yearly thing. My only regret is that it took me this long to think of this.

7 comments:

  1. Fuck yeah for Fratley.

    Also, Jakob would totally say guttersnipe.

    Here's looking forward to another year of a free pound of chocolate from platonic friends getting valentines from creepy people who deserve the gift of firm refusals and/or restraining orders.

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    1. You're probably right, but I think I can live with not being able to perfectly get inside Jakob's head.

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  2. Nice to see a hunor-focused post. Suddenly got the idea of an Easter comic where a person e gives someone an unhatched Wailord (I think that's the largest Pokemon) egg that destroys their house house when it hatches for Easter.I wouldn't be able to draw that though.

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    1. Heh. Fun idea, though. I can't draw for shit, either, but I'm sure there are many, many Pokemon enthusiasts on Deviantart and Tumblr who'd be happy to make that a reality.

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  3. Obdurate hater of Rhythm GamesFebruary 13, 2017 at 12:01 PM

    I will love you if you do not sue me for using all your images in my new game trailers. (Bioware)

    I love you more than 12weewsddfdswerer@#$$% bag fuck internal server monkey shit face spinning and that is why we should not have kids. *Bethesda, the guy who made Two Brothers or Obsidian.*

    You're uglier and more incomprehensible than this, but I still love you. *Picture of Giygas from Mother 2.*

    Your love hit me unexpectedly, and now I can think of nothing else. *Gunpei Yokoi*

    Me love youse, are like sister to me and it hot. *David Cage*

    I want to make all you imagine come true. *Picture of Hitler from Persona 2.*

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  4. New Grandia interview via http://shmuplations.com/grandia1998/. The creators criticised the "let's fight together" motive of most RPGs, but I don't remember its characters being particularly strong. Not that the narrative was bad, of course, but I think it peaked with Sue's farewell scene early on and the rest of the game was a standard level of good.

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    1. Oh, I dunno, I really loved Grandia 1 all the way through. I'll grant you that Sue's farewell, Gadwin's duel, and reaching the top of the End of the World and seeing that it just went on were probably the best moments of the game, all of which occur on Disc 1, but it's still terrific all the way through, at least to me. Thanks for the link!

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